Saturday, 30 July 2011


SEX :​=S0XVCSn8Mqc

‎'I will save your life... I'll try for you. i know what to say to take you higher, no one else can take higher, but i will try. i'll find a way...'

if you don't think this is filthy HOT, i just dont know what to say to you any longer


this is where i am right now... writing.

Monday, 25 July 2011

love this -- take a look!

My facebook friend Tim, did this. It's brilliant! take a look... it's not rude, just nice:

Sunday, 24 July 2011

Pretty Boys and Holidays

I'm going abroad tmrw, alone on a writing mission for a week, and i've just been preparing to become the oddest guest of a small hotel.I intend to keep myself to myself so I can get maximum from this time away. Besides preparing to go away I've been tidying my flat cos I have a girlfriend from Yorkshire staying here for a few days while i'm away. I've haven't been particularly looking forward to going cos i know what i need to do when i get there and because of this I don't feel like I'm going on holiday. I'm going away, yep, to the sun, yep, but I'm gonna be working shit-loads. My plan is this: Snooze in the sun during the day and work through the night. Night time is my best writing time. I did the same thing last year in north Africa, and it was a really good for me. I did tons of writing, and after I'd got back home I realised that I had done some of my best work during that trip. I hope to God i get similar results this time. I'll definitely be on lock down when I'm there. No distractions. I'll purposely be miserable to any male staff, to ensure i get left alone. I can be militant like that when i want to be. I just hope there are no cute waiters in their twenties... Nah, I'm kidding, i'm not that susceptible to pretty boys. Not when I'm on a specific mission which does not include any kissy kissy. When I get tunnel vision there's no amount of beauty or charm or a combination of both, that will shift my focus.

Talking of which... as you may or may not know - I recently had a fling with a 26 year old boy. Yum. Alas, it's not more. It was intense and he's very sexy. Those two weeks were pretty hardcore. blimey. these boys are (well, some of them) mean business. love it! The fling is over in the manner it had begun, but i'm sure I'll see him again sometime in the future. Depending, obviously, on if either of us get distracted by other people before we get to that.

We shall see... but for now, the next week is all about writing. Fucking 'ell. this writing malarky's gonna kill me. I wish i had a boyfriend. An ongoing someone I'd like that. If I had a man - my ideal scenario would be that I go away, write like a demon and then he comes to meet me over there next weekend then we fly back together. Is that so much to ask?

Already I know I'll seriously need a good boning when i get back to release some tension. Er,, where's that boy....???

leaving town.

Tmrw i'm getting outta dodge. 7 nights in southern europe.
London? what's that? See my face .. not interested.

Thursday, 21 July 2011

a brief chat with a friend..

I just had this conversation with a friend in my office. He has just come up with a weird swelling on his leg.

Me: 'I reckon it'll need amputating'
Him: 'Do you want to do it for me?'
Me: 'I cannot inflict physical pain on someone.'
Him: 'But you used to in the past.'
Me: 'That was just mental anguish.'
Him: 'You pushed them around a bit, too'
Me: 'That's cos they paid me.'
Him: 'You're sick' ...

and then we laughed our heads off!

one guess..

gonna rock you

check this girl's face. she means every word.

Tuesday, 19 July 2011

no smoke without fire!


Tuesday, July 12, 2011 at 12:04pm

First word: Obsession.

What do you think of when you hear this word? I think, instability, pain, ones peace – raped.

: noun. The domination of one's thoughts or feelings by a persistent idea, image, desire, etc.

So over the past week, I’ve been losing the plot. I’ve felt out of control, and I hate that. As soon as my feelings are getting influenced by the presence of another person - however normal this may be - I freak out. Silly, really... I’m just terrified of losing myself, losing control of my own emotions, my life to a degree. Im terrified of trusting someone to not hurt me.

Oh, and by the way: Don't feel weird about the word; obsession. It often has negative connotations but it's just a word, and I'm just sharing with you a part of me that is often prevalent, thats all. It comes and goes and come and goes. It's just how I am.
I can pin point where this recent speit of instability started... It’s all very clear...

I sent my book to the publishers 2 weeks ago, and then felt a bit at a loss, and then, like a gift from the heavens – drum roll -- I suddenly met a boy. And a delicious one at that. Now, I’m not at all ashamed to admit that I’m pretty susceptible to pretty boys. I’ve tampered with one or two over my lifetime. Especially those who are sweet, a little bit cocky, who are taller than me and who give good kisses. So, this is what’s happened over the last seven days.

I feel so much better today though, than I have done and I accept how I am however annoying my feelings can be at times.

Second word: Equilibrium. What do you think when you hear this word? I think, balance, happiness, contentment, peace.

: noun
1.a state of rest or balance due to equal action of opposing forces.
2.equal balance between any powers, influences, etc.; equality of effect. mental or emotional balance; equanimity.

I’m fucking trying to get there. ... That’s all I can do - try, and smile along the way as often as I can.

Thursday, 14 July 2011

old times.

I suggest you listen to this..

Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day
Fritter and waste the hours in an offhand way
Kicking around on a piece of ground in your home town
Waiting for someone or something to show you the way

Tired of lying in the sunshine staying home to watch the rain
And you are young and life is long and there is time to kill today
And then one day you find ten years have got behind you
No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun

And you run and you run to catch up with the sun, but it's sinking
Racing around to come up behind you again
The sun is the same in a relative way, but you're older
Shorter of breath and one day closer to death

Every year is getting shorter, never seem to find the time
Plans that either come to naught or half a page of scribbled lines
Hanging on quiet desperation is the English way
The time is gone, the song is over, thought I'd something more to say

Home, home again
I like to be here when I can
And when I come home cold and tired
It’s good to warm my bones beside the fire
Far away across the field
The tolling of the iron bell
Calls the faithful to their knees
To hear the softly spoken magic spells.

Saturday, 9 July 2011


got some Hotpant for my little tush and if truth be told I didn't believe that they'd help me to firm up my ass and hips. I just thought id try for the hell of it. And after less than a week, i actually cant believe that something good's already happeneing. woohoo!! have a look here if you wanna know what i'm banging on about..​ants


got some Hotpant for my little tush and if truth be told I didn't believe that they'd help me to firm up my ass and hips. I just thought id try for the hell of it. And after less than a week, i actually cant believe that something good's already happeneing. woohoo!! have a look here if you wanna know what i'm banging on about..​ants

Friday, 8 July 2011

Press release about my 2nd book

for those of you who missed it the first time.
fill yer face.

'All you are to me is meat..' HOT.

I'll stick you a little
To take your oxygen away
Set you on fire
'cos I'm on fire
...And I'm with you,
I'm so into this whore
Afraid I might lose her
So forget about me
Because I'll stick you
Pushed back to square
Now that you've kneed her
In the throat
Well there you go
Cause back in school
We are the leaders
Of all so transpose
Or stop your life is what U do
All you are to me is meat
Now pass the flask

Sunday, 3 July 2011

it is what it is

“Often I feel I need to go to some distant region of the world to be reminded of who I really am. There is no mystery about why this should be so. Stripped of your ordinary surroundings, your friends, your daily routines, your refrigerator full of food, your closet full of clothes – with all this taken away, you are forced into direct experience. Such direct experience inevitably makes you aware of who it is that is having the experience.”

Michael Crichton

Saturday, 2 July 2011

a little obsession

listning to this on repeat... obsessive, i know... gonna start doing some work in a few minutes. She says.

email me here: tell me what you think to the above song...

i think its pretty damn sexy. don't you? ahh, thought you would.

I change like British weather.

I've been in a weird mood during the past few days. I've logged off facebook cos i was getting, well, moody with people who think they 'know' me but who actually don't. What I say on facebook or any other medium does not mean you know my M.O.
I dont know always know myself for God's sake. But I can assure you of this - i know myself a damn sight better than youse know me. I sometimes say things for the hell of it. Sometimes, especially when I'm involved with a man, I can express a sentiment and at the time I'm thoroughly genuine and then within days - poof - its changed. I'ts just how i am. I am intense, real and can be flaky. I need to be stoked regularly to maintain my enthusiasm for anything outside of my work, and if this happens I can be as passionate and full-on and loyal as I am with towards what m trying to create for myself. But if I'm not kept stoked it's no skin off my nose if my feelings alter or not.

I'm so changable why presume you can predict how I think or operate from one day to the next?
Jesus.It's men that get on my nerves most with this over presumtious opinions. I never react the same towards women. Women just never get me as irate as know-it-all guys.
I guess perhaps its partially to do with women interacting with other women with less bluntness. And aside from that, it takes me longer to trust a man and his motives for anything. Whatever, anyway... its not important, for now.

So, my friends, my next book has now gone to its new home. It's gone and although that is thrilling it is also a little sad. But sadness, I can deal with.

Now, onward! I don't stop. Or if i do i try not to for long. I have so much to do. I was thinking earlier today when i was lounging in the bath, will i ever meet a man who is as driven and ambitious as I am? I'm sure there are many out there but sadly for me, Ive been wasting precious time with work-shy dreamers.

Are most people living day to day with no serious planning about what they need to do next? Or indeed, if they do think about what they want to create in their life, do they actually focus enough and sacrifice what they need to in order to get shit done?

i used to think that life would happen regardless of anything. If it was 'meant to be' it would just happen. And this would remain the same with minimal or not effort from my side. How naive. I no longer think that way and I realise that good things happen with determination and single mindedness. Bad things or depression happen by doing nada.

That's only how i see it. Maybe your experience of life is different.

hey ho... based on this i've just booked a holiday. One week alone in the sun so I can work, work and work, with no distractions. An empire doen't build its self it seems.

ViVa life!

super fly