Thursday, 22 March 2012

a new blog address

I am leaving this blog and moving to

book launch photo

at the book launch for my new book, UNHOOKED

Tuesday, 6 March 2012

radio, radio gaga

Tmrw morning I'm on BBC Radio Manchester from 10am, then doing BBC Radio Northern Ireland from 10.30am THEN (drum roll...) It's my fukin BOOK LAUNCH tmrw evening. Hollllaaaa!!

Monday, 5 March 2012

Live radio this evening

I'm live on BBC London radio from 11pm this evening. On the Jo Good show. 94.9FM

An email exchange

I had an email conversation with a young woman today, who asked me how i managed to change from living a life of utter chaos, to how things are today. My reply is pasted below... You see i don't always say ' read my book it's all in there...' (only sometimes i say that! :O)

HER: 'But how did you manage to change? did you have someone helping you? from where did you get your inspiration for your life now?'

ME: How did i manage it? With a huge amount if difficulty. Sometimes im not even sure myself how i have managed to remain alive. i would not wish what i went through in the early stages of recovery on someone i don't like. It was the hardest time of my entire life. it's as tho i'd been existing for years with wool stuffed into my ears, dark goggles on my eyes and wearing a wet suit. Suddenly these were taken off and i fuckin freaked out. badly. i freaked out and wondered when the welcome to reality would ever stop. i wondered how i could live in the 'real' world.
People from NA meetings and rehab kept promising me that things would change. i had to continue. My only other option was death. I was already emotionally dead. i had to fight on and fight and fight. Every day was a struggle. i didn't know how to fight with no energy. But anger at my situation must have kept me fuelled and i fought with everything i was.

I wanted more than anything for my mind to stabilise. The practical side of living was secondary. Something in me believed that at some point things HAD to change and become easier ..... Then over time, i started noticing that my thoughts were becoming clearer and i wasn't anxious every moment i was awake. I wasn't scared at nothing all the time. After 3 months in rehab, i didn't get a legitimate job for nearly 2 years. i daren't. id never done anything else other than source money for drugs. i had no qualifications and my self esteem was in the gutter.
What it takes to change it utter, utter determination. But the foundation of the change process was absolute honesty. Honetsy with myself and with other people. A level of honesty that I had to be trained to do. Many people don't make it. Many people i knew are now on the streets, or dead. That incudes people i was in rehab with.
I don't know how i made. I just don't know........... Everything now often feels like a dream that happened to someone else. Its very strange thinking back. Some times it feel like it happened a lifetime ago - other times, its like it was yesterday. The reason for this? the issues that caused me to get involved in my past crap, in the first place - are within me. Its those issues that i always need to be aware of and have learned to manage better. The inspiration to do this comes only from me.


LOVE the styling and everything else about this!

My babies

My new book:

My first book:

BOTH available for download. You can even get it on your phone, wherever you are on the planet.

Thursday, 1 March 2012


My new book - out today - take a look!

It's based on my experience of 3 months in a residential drug rehabilitation centre. It's about recovering from addiction and how one person did that.

click on the link:

My book, UNHOOKED is released today!

A review for my new book, UNHOOKED, in Look! magazine!

The book i released today!