Monday, 28 June 2010

Meeting My Half-Brother for the first time.

Well, what a wonderful weekend! Beautiful sunny weather, laughter and kisses all round at my dad’s house, before, during and after their marriage vows were renewed. I’ve never been to a wedding vows renewal shindig before, have you? It was gorgeous. They attached a white marquis thing (without the walls – in fact it was just the top of the marquis) to their large conservatory at the back of the house. They played arias from the opera La Boheme. The words they exchanged were poignant and they sincerely expressed devout love for one another.
Everyone had made an effort with their clothing. I, in fact, was the most casually dressed person there. That, of course, does not include the three children under 6 years old. Actually, come to think of it my half brother’s 6 year old daughter looked smarter than me, although I did wear a dress.

So, can i now start calling my half brother’s daughter and son my niece and nephew yet? Despite having only met them once? I’d like to. I've got a new buddy in my nephew. I'm in love with him. He's gorgeous, cheeky, bright...I also really like my half brother. He’s a good, good person. Hugely intelligent, gentle, charismatic. Very similar to my father. It’s nice. His wife is beautiful. She’s Swiss, sophisticated, articulate and warm.
All in all – I left my dad’s house feeling as though I am actually part of a family. I hope this feeling lasts. I’d like to keep contact with my half brother, but neither he nor his wife have mobile phones or internet at home. Strange since they run a successful health food company. Guess other people do most of the work. They’re pretty bohemien, self-seeking folk who are into meditation and ‘stuff’.
So yeah, my weekend was good! Really good... I didn't speak about my book, except in whispers with my aunt, who loved it!

Anyway, S. was gonna come round this evening but he's not now. I could easily blow cold over this right now. Don’t know why. I’m always like this. Why? Why? I mean, I do like S. a lot. I know him very well... I guess I just know that the two of us aren’t going to be in a long term relationship. The main reason? I wouldn’t trust him as my boyfriend. He loves women and women love him. In fact he’s attractive to both sexes. He’s a nice, nice guy. But maybe, knowing that S. IS wholly untrustworthy would make a liaison with him easier. My expectations would lower. But do I want that?? Nah! Ultimately, I guess after my last relationship I am very reluctant to pursue anything with anyone.

Oh well... I’m not worrying about it at all. I care little about it right now. But I don't want him cutting the strings he has at the moment for me. He must do it for himself if at all.

I’m loving being single. The only thing that’s worrying me right this moment is the colour of my hair. I’ve just bleached it.
Oh dear, oh dear...