Tuesday, 13 April 2010

He came in record time.

Oh my ... Oh my...
What can I say?? Where do i start? Well, first I wish L, my friend was talking to me because she’d find what happened this evening hilarious.
I text her to tell her this – and she responded. I haven't heard from her for ages, so her reply was a lovely surprise. She’s upset with me cos I’m a rubbish friend who has spent most of our relationship canceling plans, it seems. I was pretty bad – but I’ve been working on this recently and I’m improving.

So, my friends, I went to see the oh so sexy rock star after work today. I knew it was about sex. That was clear. We'd established that and I was OK with it.

So, I met him near his home. We went to his gated property; really fucking swanky, I might add. He’s only 26 for crying out loud. He's obviously doing something right - financially at least. We went inside the house and I followed him into the sitting room... We kinda half kissed in a half hearted way – and he fondled me a little over my clothes. I was undoing the buttons on my top and he got his dick out. It was OK. Average. Circumcised from what I could see. He was playing with his cock and watching me, and before I had managed to take my top off - he’d orgasmed.
Oh dear. Oh well. I wasn’t sure what to do, so I stopped undoing my top and he asked if I wanted a cuppa. Well I was hoping for some action, not PG Tips, but thanks, I’ll have one.
I felt weird. I wasn’t expecting that. We went into the kitchen, babbling bullshit which neither of of were interested in and he made us both tea and served it in very cute china cups. So while in the kitchen I was thinking: Right, OK – he’s nervous. He’s gonna do me hardcore after a caffeine boost. I wish. So, as we were drinking the tea he started saying that he thinks I'm 'hot’ and he’d love to see me naked.
(If you’d fucking slowed down earlier, mate, you might have.)
Plenty more time, I thought. The night is still young.

‘Just looking at you is making me feel really horny’. OK, that’s good. He got his cock out again, half way through my cuppa and I stood up, you know, giving him a little show - I pulled my top off and I was about to start doing my thing, and the guy fucking shot his load again!!!
What the hell??
In all my time, even as a hooker I haven’t been with a man that this happens to. Cripes.
I was embarrassed and I wanted to leave. I excused myself to the bathroom and I started laughing as quietly as I could. The situation felt surreal. I just wanted to leave. I walked back out of the bathroom and put my top on, finished my tea and I told him I was leaving.
Fuck it. It didn’t look like I was going to get anything out of it and I’m not a hooker any more, so if I don’t get a fucking orgasm out of something like that then I’m not playing. I don't give a flying monkey's what his house is like or the type of cups he serves tea in.

If he knew he was going to come so quickly he shudda serviced me, in some way, first. I left and I will never go back again. And now – you know what I’ve discovered. My faithful rabbit is not working!!! I’ve changed the batteries and it’s still not having it!! Maybe that’s penance for leaving that guy.

Am I destined to remain orgasm-less for the rest of my god forsaken life???!!!?!!