Thursday, 22 April 2010

Confessing My Past to My Boss.

“So, what do you want to talk to me about?” My boss asked me in his office at 2pm today.

“ Err... well.” I looked down. “I feel a need to have this conversation with you, so not to cause any possible embarrassment to this company.” (I’m actually doing them a favour, you see.)

“ I’ve written a book...”

“ Really?? Well done.”

“ Thank you.”

“ The thing is the content. Well, it’s err, risque, pretty err, full on. It’s not all real, but of course to make something sound authentic it has to have an element of realism to it, as I’m sure you understand.”

He nods.

“ So, this book is about well... how can I put it? It’s about what can happen when someone goes out too much, drinks too much and immerses themselves in a certain side of London night life which they initially believe to be glamourous but the person gets caught up in a cycle which eventually they feel trapped in and it makes them deeply miserable and ...”

“ So this book is about you?”

“Err, not exactly. It is BASED on truth and some of my experiences but it is not ALL truth. Err, you know I don’t drink?” (Proof I’m a goodie, goodie, there...)

“I stopped drinking 6 years ago because I used to drink too much and go out too much and it made me unhappy. The book is a kind of warning in a way – you know, to young women (he has a youngish daughter) and full grown women who watch certain TV programs and see certain successful topless models and want that lifestyle with what they consider to be very little work and just party, party, party. The book is really just saying that if you choose to get involved in the whole members’ bars, drinking thing and God knows what else...” (Yes, We all know what else...) “It can bring catastrophic consequences.” I continued.

“ I congratulate you on changing your life” – ( He doesn’t know the half of it, but I thanked him regardless.)

“ Will the book have consequence that could affect your work here? You know such as someone turning up at work and threatening you?”

“ Err, no. Not at all. Nothing like that.“

“ So you’re just letting us know that because of some of the publicity, that your past could all come out, and you’re just preparing us?”

“ Yes”

“ Oh, that’s fine. Don’t worry. Thanks for telling me.” (Shit, but I didn’t tell him the graphic part of it. I avoided the buzz words that I maybe I shudda said in order to give him the full picture: prostitution and drugs. Did I not say enough??)

“ Oh, and by the way,” he continued, “ I’d like to read the book.”

I laughed. Not on my watch. Somehow I don’t think that would be a good idea.