Friday, 14 August 2009

What am I turning into?

Oh balls! I’m feeling sorry for myself. Silly, silly... No particular reason. Just woke up a tad grumpy. Guess i feel that my life is revolving around my laptop; writing, Facebook, writing, writing, obsession, aloneness, focus, writing...

Bored of it.

Painting tomorrow with L.
Getting the keys for my new place. That should be exciting but right now, I’m a little indifferent. I shouldn’t be.

I have just this moment received a text from the agent. I really like her. She’s a good egg... She tells me that she has received the contract from the publishers and she wants to re-read it once more before sending it to me. That brings me massive but contained joy. It’s bizarre – this journey is so personal and my feelings about it are quite private , if you know what I mean. It’s so much more than ‘just’ a book. I don’t think I will ever really go mad with excitement – instead I will have private moments of massive elation.
Can anyone else actually share my joy? I doubt it. At least not to the level I do - or even close to it, really. Although I would gladly share it, still, other people wouldn't experience it like I do, so that makes my expression of it a bit frustrating.
Weird, 'cos I am very enthusiastic when someone does something good.

Listen to me – I'm definitely feeling sorry for myself.

So, I hope to meet the agent for dinner next week – our first meeting.
Who should pay? Me or her?
I think me, cos she’s worked so much for me with this. Another person thinks she should be paying... I mean, she gets 15% of what I get when I sign, but regardless of such things, she's worked like a cart horse and her passion has been priceless...
I reckon I should definitely pay.

Once I've signed the contract, officially the book belongs to the publishers and it is no longer mine.
Strange, strange days. After that I will be in direct contact with the publishers and officially the agent no longer plays a part, although obviously the two of us will keep contact - she's a friend-type-person and also she will represent me for my next book.

I got an email today saying that they (le publishers) would prefer me not to write any more pieces for magazines related to my own experiences.
Okey dokey...

Anyway – got cable set up today for my new gaff. Things seems to be moving in a number of positive directions.

By the way: I didn’t call on a suiter -I slept instead. God, this is what I mean... What is happening to me!? I'm pre-occupied at the moment I guess, there's a lot happening - but I did sort my self out with my plastic chum, which was very necessary.
I’m going to park the whole man-thing for at least a week, maybe two. Another two weeks without any action?? I’ve already gone over a week! Let’s see what happens after I move and settle into my new place.

Something tells me that I won’t be going for another two whole weeks of sexual abstinence.
Why would I !? This isn’t ‘Challenge Anika’ – my name’s not Anika.