Saturday, 27 June 2009

Walking around Naked & Picking my Nose

I’m home alone. Free to wank, free to walk around naked, scratch my bottom and pick my nose if I so wish. I can stare at myself in the mirror checking my teeth, eyebrows and pores, do my waxing in peace and lie in the middle of my bed and shut out the world if I want to.
I don’t want that today as it happens. I’m quite happy with the world and its people for today. I had a lovely afternoon hanging out with L. in Islington.

We mooched around, ate iced yogurt with fresh fruit, and got high on coffee. Wild, just wild!
Last night was an equally enjoyable time. I met K, and we went for food in SoHo then went to the SoHo Hotel for drinks. Lovely. She's so funny, is K. She makes me laugh a lot and we share some peculiar similarities about our up bringing.

I’m loving my new found lack of responsibility towards a boyfriend. I can’t be doing with the hassle of considering a guy. Not now. It’s too soon after the shambles that was the Dee & Gee show.

CG left today. Two days early. Not sure why. He’s feeling ‘moody’ apparently. It’s OK though our friendship will not die due to a spot of moodiness on both our sides.I owe him too much money. I was moody too, not just CG. I’ve just come out of a wasted year with a man I should never have been with for so long. I’m broke and I’ve been worrying about the book. The publishers have another 4 weeks in which to respond.
Last night I was dreaming that I was reading segments of it to a few people and all that came out was gobbledygook! ( great word!) In fact I couldn't even read my own words... Yikes!

I digress... By the way: when I say I owe CG ’too much money’ I mean A LOT of money.
I desperately wish I could pay it and thankfully he’s far to discreet to mention it. Unfortunately I can’t pay it at the moment. I don’t have £100 never mind adding another two naughts onto the end of that figure.
Yep. That’s my debt to him. He paid 6 months rent up front on my flat to get me in here since I have more chance of passing a kidney stone than a credit check.
Hell, when will I be able to play by societies rules?

Soon,I hope. Soon... I really want to.

Just a moment ago I was thinking about how last year CG and I had an intense and very sexy week long fling – and this time? It just wasn’t there. I think we were both in the wrong place, emotionally. We were both receptive and willing in June 2008, and June 2009 we both have more important things to occupy our minds with.

So, right now I’ve put Moussaka in the over and I’m lightly simmering some vegetables to eat with it.
Shortly after that I am going to my bedroom and watching some playback TV. There are some documentaries that I’ve missed that I want to see.
I’ll then have a bath, wank and an early night.
This is heaven. Right here right now. Tonight it’s all about keeping things simple.

In fact, I intend the next period in my life to be kept just so as far as I can control it. Like I said, I’m off men for a while.

It’s all about me, me ,me... and that’s exactly how I want it.