Thursday, 25 June 2009

I'm off men

I’m off men, bullshit and hassle. None of these come before the other, it’s all one package.
I just found out that S. a guy who is one of my sex-buddies (when we’re both free and you know I’m now very single) duped me.
S. has just been away and when we hung out earlier today he told me that he didn’t go abroad with his girlfriend. They broke up. So anyway S, and I had a little smooch before I left to go to Surrey.
Just a little kissy kissy – nothing major.
So, I get home tonight after being inundated with lustful texts from him, most of which I ignored, and I find out that he’s a lying toe rag. I’ve seen his girlfriend’s Facebook photos which show them on the said holiday together.

Now, I’m not against telling porkies here and there – who doesn’t? But please. Lie, when it serves a purpose. You could say that S's attempt to bone me is reason enough. I don’t agree, because the two of us are supposed to have an adult ‘friendship.’ We are meant to be upfront about what we do or don’t do with or without our partners – if either of us has one and he does. I’ve lost respect for him now. What a farce.
Just tell me you broke up with your girl, don’t elaborate by going on to say that you didn’t go away with her and that you went away alone to ‘clear your head’. Fuck wit.

That is typical of the kind of lies I used to make. I used to start at one point – then exaggerate it, then before I know it I was inventing a story which included goblins, UFOs and jet skies to escape from underground train delays. I used to get off on it. The problem, as always, was remembering what I’d said.

But as I’m sure you can imagine the fact that I lived a clandestine life for many years, today I am very good at keeping secrets and if really necessary I can be an eloquent liar. Thankfully lying is not something I do to any harmful degree any longer. Only with regards meager issues such as late payment of bills etc...

Some times I find myself still initially thinking in a deceitful way, although I don’t let my thoughts trip off my tongue in the form of words. Hey, thoughts never killed anyone.

Anyway – S. (the lying goat who I've now text to tell him to get a grip) is not getting a sniff of my snatch any time soon whether he tells me he’s single and about to become a monk. I don’t care.

The way I’m feeling right now, if an example of the perfect male form who was frighteningly intelligent, who had the charisma of Casanova was to stand right infront of me whispering words of literature while baring a cock the size of my wrist – I’d barely take a look at him... ( alright DG if it was you I’d have a little peep, OK.)

I have the potential to get myself into pickles, I do. I’ve always had that propensity.

I have always found myself in situations which get complicated and heavy- and that’s majorly to do with me by the way. Invariably these situations involve men, and my way of dealing with hassle? I try to fall off the face of the planet. I try to disappear. I’m too much of a pussy to speak the words over the phone or worse still face to face... Hell no. Text or email are the way forward . Except if the guy is finishing something with me then I’d want him to verbalise it.

The three guys that are sniffing around at the moment I am going to tell to go away. I’ll say it as nicely as possible of course... I just cant be arsed with anything. These are real world blokes by the way not anyone from Facebook or anything related to the blog.

As for CG - the‘romance’ is over. We had our stint last year and it was a week of bliss, but today we’re friends and that’s it.
As I said yesterday CG is a good friend.... (I’m a tad paranoid about writing too much on here – i don’t know if a certain Dee may see this and although I wouldn’t go back to him for love or money, I still don’t want to rub salt into any wounds...)

Yep... although the romance has gone between CG and me, he’s still a very good... friend.