Friday, 10 April 2009

Gee rants: ANAL sex - don't kid yourself she likes it.

Why is it that as a nation we seem to have a fascination with anal sex? I just don’t get it. Why do women claim to enjoy getting penetrated in a hole so tight it’d be difficult to fit in a pencil, never mind a penis. It doesn’t make any sense. And, believe me, I do know what I’m missing – I’ve tried it on numerous occasions occasions.

What are women who want anal sex trying to prove? Are they proclaiming to the world what exciting, modern sex they’re having? What liberated, progressive members of society they are? It’s the sexual equivalent of having a tattoo, or piercings, in any other part of the body other than the ears and bragging about it is attention-seeking and extreme exhibitionism.

Those who participate think they’re so liberal and open-minded. Men think it proves their confidence in their hetrosexualitry – but, of course, they would never do it with a man, Oh no!
As for the women, they’re either waving the women’s lib flag, breaking old taboos and doing whatever they want to do by taking life by the balls, or they’re so intergrated with what’s happening in society today – everyone’s having sex up their bum.
Actually, they’re not!
Some of my girlfriends proclaim how they ‘prefer’ anal penetration to ‘vanilla’ sex – that’s plain, old-fashioned, vaginal sex. Bah humbug!
They don’t need to prove their sexual prowess to me with their love of anal. I can’t stand it; they know that, so why say it? Sometimes I wonder if it’s a form of oneupmanship amongst women, to show how they’re willing to break what was always , until recent years, thought of as taboo. Of course, this is rigorously denied when the possibility is suggested, although once I state my own position I wonder how often some wish they’d kept their mouth shut instead of declaring love for an activity which isn’t really anything to do with them or their pleasure.
Anal sex is all about men and a desire to fuel their egos to show dominance over their woman. As a friend of mine put it, ‘It’s not her arse I’m interested in; it’s if she’ll actually let me do it to her or not.’ Charming.

Nearly every woman I know who’s partial to a spot of anal action tells me that with each new lover who broaches the subject she always pretends she’s never done it before. Women reckon that men prefer to believe they’re coursing through uncharted territory; they never think that this might be a common peacocking maneuver used by the stronger sex to impress whoever they’re sleeping with, some may say this is an abuse of male power.
Let’s face it: everyone likes to be considered adventurous and up for experiments, especially in the bedroom. Of course, participating in anal is, well, just as common as kissing with tongues, and if you don’t think it’s amazing, then surely I must be uptight and unadventurous? No, not either; just free-thinking and honest.
I’m convinced the main reason women appear to adore butt sex is that they want to impress a man. Most men are fascinated with the trademan’s entrance and won’t leave it alone, even thought their weary partners might not be at all interested. You may be convinced that the world and his wife are doing it, but I’m here to tell you that actually they’re not!

A friend of mine (who wishes to remain anonymous) quickly learned to use anal sex as a handy bartering tool for her overbearing and greedy hubby, as a means to get what she wants, or ‘treat’ him her arse as an occasional gift.
She resists him, knowing that he will inevitably constantly badger her like a small child that tugs on to its mother’s leg, and try to sweet talk her into it for some time, before realising he may have to make do with vaginal entry. Sometimes, feeling bored and harassed she’ll relent, but not before she secures herself a favour. Maybe he’ll do the school run for a change, or he’ll make her breakfast in bed.
Whoever said romance is dead?
Good for her, If she can gurn her way through the pain barrier and the constant urge to poo, it’s not for me to judge.

Anal sex stinks. It’s a futile exercise in mind games, where males practice dominating women and exercising their homoerotic fantasies, and the woman thinks she is gaining control over her man, while whimpering on all fours in submission; convinced that because she’s giving him what he wants he’ll hang around for longer.

As far as I’m concerned, however much lube I’ve used, or however relaxed I’ve been, I either couldn’t get it in or I was far from enjoying the experience once the ball had started rolling.
I remember an ex-lover, after a concerted effort on both sides to get his prick into my back passage to no avail and my making my apologies, convinced he’d think I was a failure, saying to me, ‘Don’t worry about it. I couldn’t take anything up my arse.’ How refreshing; here’s a man who thinks – who’s actually taken time to consider what it must really feel like being bashed around in an area that is normally tightly squeezed shut unless forced open.
I do understand the pleasure/pain stuff; I don’t mind a little bit of that myself at times. Even so, all I can say about anal is that unless you’re compelled to instigate anal for your own, rather than your partner’s, benefit, just leave it alone.
There’s no fun to be had than putting yourself through an ordeal to impress a selfish, insecure man who’s more concerned with nurturing his ego than nurturing you.

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