Sunday 22 March 2009

Officially Single

He's moved his stuff.
I didn't see him, instead I went to get my hair done.
He's gone.
The boy is no more.... well, not as my lover, but he still exists as a fine human being.
We won't talk for a while - 'Why ever?' my step-mum wonders. 'Don't you have enough ex-stragglers?' err, kinda,I suppose it depends on your view point. I mean, I'm still a little pally with my two ex-husbands, and Mark the guy I was with when I was 19, and my ex-non-sex- relationship.

The two ex husband's are not exactly friends in the traditional sense, but they do contact me for a catch up from time to time, nothing more.
Now, Mark - I have Mark in my life because I love him. I always have and I know he will always feature in my life. He's the stability that enabled me to continue to want to live, at particularly dark times in my past. My sexless ex is still around because we were friends for 3 years before we got together, and during and after our relationship that's what we've remained.

Now the boyfriend who just left has not 'supported' me thru anything in particular. I don't feel that we have a 'dependency' on each other. We just liked one another, but now it's over, I don't know about cultivating a friendship. Neither of us owes each other anything. It was all pretty balanced.
Right now, I gotta say, I don't know what the heck is going to happen, I really don't. My flat doesn't look or feel vastly different to when we were together. He's left a few bits and bobs here, some of which he will require back e.g - the remote controls for his t.v and dvd player.
Other things such as a tooth brush and a shaver thingy, he won't need - they are here for psychological triggers. He's clever like that. Whenever we'd argue before we broke up and he left me.... boohoo!
He'd do cute things like line up our shoes next to each other, so the 'cuteness' of my small shoes compared to his humongous foot wear would be emphasised for maximum awwwww appeal. It worked sometimes, other times if only seemed to impact on him. Poor sod.

Interestingly, he did leave his duvet and I'm not sure why; possibly one of a couple of reasons. When we first slept together he told me afterwards that he'd gone to buy a new duvet and bed linen so everything was perfect for our first sex.

This is the duvet he's left here. Why do you think he's left it?
I guess there's always a possibility that he left it cos there just wasn't enough room in his car...


I'm sad. I keep thinking that I will let every thing cool down, then contact him shortly to try and mend bridges, but then again maybe not. The truth is I don't know what I want - but one thing for sure I can't mess someone else around. But one kinda annoying, but to be honest, quite flattering feature of this break up is that now the news is out amongst people I know that I am single once more, already three of my ex-sex partners have offered their services. One, in a very crude manner and the other two using far more subtle tactics, but c'mon fellas it takes more than that to blind side me. I know they're after a piece of Gee pie because my past liaisons with both these guys was cut short due to meeting my boyfriend, so perhaps it's unfinished business, which may or may not be dealt with.

Whatever happens - you will be first to know, I can assure you.

Oh shite! I just remembered something.... the holiday! I was meant to be going away with my boy to Sardinia. Oh poo!

On a different note : Newsflash - My period finally came nearly 3 months over due, so at least some things are moving - if it's the right direction I can't tell just yet...












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