Saturday, 28 March 2009

advertising for a husband

'Ex-coke-head-party-girl , slightly mixed up on occasions, not all the time, but some times. Not very conventional – but gives appearance of being so externally, seeks husband.'

About me:
I’m friendly, warm, I genuinely like and care about human kind – unless of course you’re an asshole, then I don’t have tolerance for that. I’m hard, I’m very soft. I’m kind and rarely mean – and if you’re mean to me, I wont be mean back. I will simply not speak to you ever again. But there are different levels of meanness and you have to be pretty insulting to get to me, and that’s not a dare by the way... I’m emotionally demanding and need to be treated with tenderness most of the time and I need a good talking to on occasions.
I’m affectionate and I’m funny, on a good day and thanks to the tablets I have many ‘good days’. I’m vibrant, vivacious, beautiful , good in bed and modest, and I enjoy laughing at myself more than at others.

I seek:
Male 33+, who is calm - very important attribute. Two hot headed folk together, trouble makes. He must be laid back, not easily fazed and let me chatter away some of my over anylitical neuroses, and love me through them. He must be strong, emotionally and spiritually and he mustn’t drink to get drunk and he never takes drugs. He loves sex and is intense but does not want me swing off light fittings or participate in anal, just cos it indulges his ego.
He must be tall,over 6’2, any build, any nationality. The basics, good teeth, clean... god, do we really need to mention those things in this age? He must be kind and be close to his mother. He does not have any outstanding warrants for his arrest and neither does he have any ongoing resentments or feuds that overcast his life. He is patient, with me and small children. He must be creative, talented, and passionate about life and people. He is interesting and interested. He must be compassionate towards others and loyal towards me. And of course fiercely intelligent. He must be able to teach me or bring different perspectives to my views.
Any ideas?
Just one small thing ... I’d never consciously be with a man who knows about my past before we’ve met – particularly the sex part of my past. I would always miss-trust him and his reasoning at being with a woman he knows was a call girl. Yep, no doubt that is about my judgment towards myself, about the things I did – which would make me suspicious of a guy’s motives who took this on board. I’d be obsessed with the idea that he’s talking to me and the whole time thinking of me as a hooker.
There you go B – maybe that’s why we haven’t got together after such a long ‘courtship.’ And there you go ... finally I’ve mentioned you, here. Happy now!?

I think arranged marriage is the future... I really do...Maybe I will advertise for a husband? What do you reckon? It makes sense to thrash out the actualities of two people being together rather than doing all that guess work and tip-toing around one another’s thoughts feelings about the present and the future.
Or perhaps I could get my friends to ‘interview’ a number of men and arrange me a marriage. I'll wait a little, get my book into Borders, then get cracking with the next part of my future plan.

Sounds good, huh? Yes, I think so too...

Check out my Facebook page if you fancy a more personal chat. I'm under the name Missy Gee.