Thursday, 19 March 2009

10 DO's for men wooing women...

OK- 10 DO's (for men) when wooing a woman.

1. You initiate contact. Don't wait for her to do so. Don't use that ridiculous 3 day rule thing either - It's lame, boring even. Us girls all know what you're doing and when it comes to the third day and you finally rear your head, we just shake ours and raise an eyebrow. I know for me, I think, 'How conventional and unoriginal' - but L. a real good girl friend of mine thinks it's rather sweet when a guy waits til the third day to call, because according to her, he is 'playing by the rules'. Sod the rules. I want his passion to transcend unwritten protocol. Call on day 2.

2.Be forthright when suggesting your date. Appear to have planned something. For an example tell her, 'OK, let's meet at the bar in the National Gallery, have drinks there and see the blah, blah exhibition, if you fancy it, before we go to Cocoon for dinner. Then I'll take you to such and such for coffee and ice-cream" in my case, but probably more booze, in yours.
(God, I envy you.) She'll be pleased that you've thought about it and thrilled that you seem so sure of yourself.

3. Don't try and prove anything to her. There are some exceptions of course: If you're generally a grumpy bugger, do please try and show her that you can actually enjoy yourself because that's what you're doing with her right now... Please do not, and that is a categorical do not, boast about your job, your car, your money, your flashy holidays or the fact that you get the dole every two weeks and actually your mate lent you the money for the very drink she happens to be clutching. Don't even say it as a joke. You will plant a seed which will be hard to eradicate, unless you're minted, of course - then she'll just think you're either weird or you'll suddenly become 'sweet' or that 'whacky sense of humour guy'.... do you really want either of those accolades? But quite possibly (and most likely) she'll love you forever more for your mo..modesty. What you wont know yet is if you want her to, so steady on...

4. Talk mainly about her. Rarely about yourself. If you genuinely feel attracted to her then surely you'll genuinely want to get to know her. That's the whole point isn't it? 'Getting to know someone' is about talking to them about themselves, their thoughts, their feelings and values, their ideas, their hopes their sadnesses, their loves...Ask questions and If you have to think hard about what to ask and the conversation isn't flowing - you're either lacking social skills or you're not actually sitting opposite the right person. Either way: Don't despair, people - there is still hope. There is always hope.

5. Smile at her, look at her; not her tits and don't constantly watch her lips as she talks, but look at her. Allow yourself to be soft. Don't play any of this cool shite. Coolness is surely about being friendly, confident about yourself and kind. Don't argue every point you disagree with. Don't ever be blunt - for example don't snap 'You're wrong...' or ' Just giz a snog, it's only a kiss for god's sake...' Try and relax and don't focus on the next move, cos she might be smiling on the outside, but you don't know yet just how she's feeling inside. The time you spend together will have a natural rhythm and you will be aware of that beat without concentrating on it. So when the time to move, to kiss, to cuddle, to hold hands , to stroke her nose comes, you'll know it.


Check out my Facebook page if you fancy a more personal chat. I'm under the name Missy Gee.