Thursday, 21 October 2010

this and that in bullet points...

■I'm happy to be free of my relationship with Blue. I feel much better for us not being in what we had. He's a nice guy but not for me. It's strange how I can be so ' in love' with someone, and then, I'm happier now he's not around.

NOTE to future boyfriend. If I'm showing you that I want you, and by showing you I mean in the real world not virtual world or fantasy world - in reality. And if you want me - whatever you do don't play games. Please. Don't do the push/ pull thing, 'cos I'll give you everything that I am and it'll be yours to take and nurture. I'll be completely faithful to you, and to us and you will feel that you have me completly. But if you push me away, be very certain that's really what you want - cos I'll be gone. You'll be 'that guy I once had a thing with for a bit' , intil you become ' someone I kinda once knew'.

■ I want to be with a man who has the confidence to 'own' me. I'm not easy to manage, I know that. I'm emotionally high maintence, but for sure, when you have my heart and my mind - you will have something worth hanging on to and you'll know it. If I'm confident about anything, it's this. And that's not arrogance. I know my worth.

■I had a couple more tiny flower tattoos done, 2 weeks ago... love them. Very cute and feminine they are too. I'll post a photo up on here in a bit.

■Can't wait to go to the island off Kenya and lounge around daily, in a bikini, being cooked for by a chef and have my shit arranged by a house keeper. Mwah-ha-ha-haaar!! I'll try not to come back married, OK. Those of you who've read my book will knwo what i'm talking about.
(see the islands here- copy and paste)

■Gonna send my second book to the agent before I go away - and then faff around with the third one while I'm having my grapes peeled and getting fanned by young buff guys wearing nada. This next book will be entirely ficticious. Can't wait! Love a challenge. When I dictate it.

■ On Monday I was straightening my hair at home with my ceramic tools of torchure and I popped them onto my sofa for a minute. Being the scatter brain that I can be - I then sat down. Yep, on top of them. And on one side of my rump I now have a scab which will scar. Poo. Poo. And another Poo!

■I was sitting on the train this morning and this young woman, with her hood up, who didn't look at me, asked if i would mind maybe 'rearranging my legs'. Now, I am very aware of my surroundings and people, just about all the time. My legs were not in her way - but still, she wasn't 'comfortable', apprently.She was one of those people who seems highly intelligent but greatly lacks social skills. I can imagine she finds it hard to fit into society. This is not based on how she was with me. In fact she was pleasant and polite - I could just see that life won't come easy to her. And neither does it to me - but in a different way.I 'm certain she suffers from some type of Autism. Don't ask how I know that - I dont. I'm just guessing.

Anyway, so I asked her how she'd like me to sit in order for her to be more comfortable. I wasn't being at all sarcastic. I really wasn't. I hate sacrcasm. I think it's a low-base 'humour' which if not delivered carefully can be insulting, so i stay clear. Especially if I don't know someone well. Gosh, how times change. Not too long ago I'd have told this woman to 'do one' and stop being so controlling. She told me that she wasn't at all sure how she'd have prefered me to sit but she just knew that she felt, err, as though she'd like me to alter how I was sitting.Right, OK. I couldn't help but grin - but I tried really hard not to let her see me. This woman blatantly finds interacting with people difficult. And I felt as though I could possibly have been a human Guiness Pig suggested to her by her therapist so she could practice asking for what she wants and not being afraid of speaking up.

Anyway ... no harm done. Enjoy your day mon amores!