Thursday, 1 July 2010

blah, blah, blah ...

I'm such a twit sometimes. Last night I dyed my hair, remember? Yep, I went to Boots and bought two Mocha (dark brown to you and me) hair dyes. So I decided one would be enough for the first round of dying. See how it took. I did wonder why my hair didn't look much darker - but thought little of it. Last night, on here, when I said that it didn't look the colour I thought it was going to be, I just presumed I needed a super strength application. A double whammy ( hence my buying two packets of dye). Today I discovered I actually bought ONE Mocha colour dye and the other, the one I used on my hair was copper. No wonder it didn't look brown! Copper on ginger. It just gets better and better...
How I cope alone is anyone's guess. Ex-boyfriends would vouch for me on this. And my girlfriends. Altho they would be reluctant to say anything that may sound derogatory towards me.

The funny thing is - people always comment that I appear 'together' and 'calm'. I get 'calm' comments a lot. It's hilarious! I couldn't guess how I get away with it.
Oh well... I guess it's better than appearing to be not dis-similar to a headless chicken; in spite of how I feel sometimes.

OK, my loves I've decided that I must sort myself out, over here. My life feels, err, 'bitty'... I've been riding a wave of nothingingness over the last week or so and it's gotta stop.
This weekend I'm on lock down. No Facebook, No sex - ( nothing new there) and No anything other than work. My second book will not write itself, I've discovered. Forgive me for stating the obvious.
I've kinda been floating around avoiding it. Instead, I've been dreaming of holidays and ice-cream, involving myself in fantasies with men who have girlfriends - i.e. S.
It's bloody stupid really. What the fuck?
S. called me today, upset, confused and..... Well, he asked me not to mention exactly how he was feeling, so I won't go on.

I've also been dreaming of a book-writing career which will be ground to a halt if I don't get my act together. I can be very disciplined if I want to be. But sadly, I can not do a bit of this, then a bit of that... it's all full throttle or nothing.
So, my friends I shall cut myself off from all polite society over this coming weekend and get going. Hard, focused, intense slog.

Shit! I've just thought: I'm supposed to be going on a picnic on Saturday. Poo! Not to worry i shall deal with that at the last minute, as with most things I do. Crunch time, seems to be My time. It's where I reside from one day to the next.
Oh well, things change but not all things at once, eh!?