Tuesday, 6 April 2010

My Holiday - Part 1

I’m so f***ing happy! I’ve got my i-pod working! Thank Christ for that! Yaay! After spending literally 5 hours (I kid you not) trying to get to grips with it just before I went away, I just got it working, now, after faffing around for approximately 20 measly minutes.

Oh, the wonder, the marvel of modern technology.

So, so, so.... le holiday,(French) vacaciones,(Espanol, I think) vacation ( Yankie)

I’m back, incase you hadn’t noticed.
But I’ve been so damned quiet the past couple of days you can be forgiven for not realising.

So, mi amigos, going away alone was an experience. Not one I’d wish to participate in again immediately after a break up. A bit of a head fuck the first 2 days. I was sad and lost and I felt lonely.
Although saying this I would do it again. But next time i would go because I have chosen to go alone, rather than having it imposed on me.
I suppose, this time I cudda given the ticket to a friend, but I decided instead to go alone and take the opportunity to do some work in the evenings, after sunning myself while reading Lolita. It worked well, actually. I worked well. I didn’t hit 80,000 words as I’d intended, but I’ve got 70,000, now. The final 10,000 are a precious commodity for me to use wisely before I start fiddling with it to get a near-complete first draft.
‘Fiddling’ brings me nicely onto what you lot really want to know about ... Did I get banged? Licked? Sucked? Kissed? The answer , my friends is no,no,no and no respectively.
How rubbish is that,
And incase you thought I was losing my knack – the final straw came when I went for a massage and this bloke came through to do me; the massage, I mean – I was like:
“Oh, are you doing this?”

“ Yes, madam”

“ Oh, err, I’d like a woman to do it please.”

Now, what the fuck is going on there? What’s happening to me?

To be fair if he’d been fit I’d have had it – and the massage ( sorry had to say it!) but under the given circumstances I didn’t want some random bloke getting off on touching my naked body, while I was getting the sum total of nothing , except perhaps an unwelcome penis prodding my thigh.
Anyway, it doesn’t end there ... in fact I’m just warming up...
And before you vow never to read another post of mine again – I did meet one guy,... And when I saw him, I knew I was in trouble...

And no, it wasn’t a copper.

I’m talking beauty, perfection, hot, hot, hot...

By the way – I’m so f***ing pleased to have music again!!!! There. Said it. Again.