Friday, 12 March 2010

dwarves, fear & fences.

Blue and I are over.
I’m currently sitting on a fence called ‘Fear’. I’m perched on the top admiring the view to my right which is pretty and full of dwarves in bright coloured clothes, Morris dancing. The view to my left is grey, and in a corner I’m sure I can see what appears to be a figure scooped over, holding themselves shaking.
As I look closer my heart is racing, I can’t tell if the person quivering is cold or afraid. My heart sinks. I reluctantly pull my attention away and look back into the sunny right side where I can spot two dwarves who are observing the dancers. They are happy; smooching and holding hands. My heart steadies. I feel calmer.

As I peer back towards the grey side I realise that the person is crying. Which way should I jump? The left side looks so familiar. I’d be comfortable there; grey corners alone are places I know well. As I manoeuvre myself to clamber down off the Fear wall and join the figure in the corner, my eyes fill with tears. I begin to hoist myself down, slowly to where I belong and I can’t help but allow myself one last glimmer into the right side; the bright side. And you know what I see? The dwarves are beckoning me. They’re friendly. Why? I don’t know them. I hear something - voices. They’re calling me. Why? They’re asking me to join them. Why?

I don’t have the right attire. I’m wearing black. I’m not smiling. They are...
They say it doesn’t matter. Surely it does, doesn't it? I stop myself from dropping into the grey area wondering if I’d be able to make it back up. As I strain to hoist myself back over the top of the wall and to the other side, the dwarves run towards me to help. They can’t quite reach. I daren’t jump. I don’t know what will happen next.
I don’t have any idea. I’m scared. Will I be able to fit into their world? Should I even try..? “No, no don’t do it! Go back to the grey corner“ A voice in my head shouts at me.
And then I hear a chorus of dwarves: “You’ll be all right. Just take the risk and jump. You're welcome here.” – so I jump.