Thursday, 10 December 2009

What Happens When One Door Closes...? that's right.

Well, well, well... how things work is amazing. I’ve broken up with Blue and suddenly I am re-connecting with people that I haven’t heard from for ages. I met a friend at lunch time who I used to work with before. He’s so wise and loving. I’m not talking ‘trying it on with me loving’ I’m talking, compassionate and understanding. He’s intuitive and I appreciate his wisdom. It was lovely having lunch bought for me, instead of me paying. I’d almost forgotten what that feels like.
Gee is back!

I’m kidding. Sort of.

Today, I’ve mended another bridge that I had upturned with that Photographer guy I told you about ages ago. Remember him? I thought you wouldn’t! So many men, so little time, eh..!? He’s an ex-model who went out with that famous American singer. My ex-sex buddy. I’ve known him years and whenever we were both single, we’d do the do.
I decided a while back after Dee and I broke up that I wasn’t going to indulge in those kind of things any longer. I just don’t want it in my life. In or out, I say – OK, maybe a one night thing at some point. But only for one night, but hassle? Nah. It’s Not for me. I want a simple life.

Anyway, Mr Photographer has been pissed with me over the last few months (quite a few months!)because I had offered no explanation about why I had stood him up and not answered my phone to him. This is even before I met Blue. And when I was with Blue it wouldn’t have been appropriate to have contact with the Photographer. Not cos Blue asked me not to, he didn't, I’m just like that. Over the top, some might say.
I know I must sound really lame at relationships. Not just romantic relationships, it seems, but friendships too.
Hmmm... I’m trying to change this now.

Anyway, earlier today while I was at work I tried talking to the Photographer on the phone, and I tried explaining that I was no longer gonna be a sex-friend to anyone; but we both had too much to say – so we met for coffee after I’d left the office.
He lectured me about the fact that I keep acting ‘peculiarly considering that I am meant to be a friend.’ Well, to me, a fuck buddy may be a friend – but it’s just not the same as platonic friendship, is it? The same rules don’t apply. Or at least I felt I didn't owe him explanations. God, I’m not good with dealing with men and sex. It all gets quite confusing sometimes.
After a while, (in a fuck buddy situation) one or the other often tends to either want more, or their self image comes into question because the other person is not chasing them, and wanting more. It’s a bloody mine field.

Anyway, he finished talking, then I lectured him, we disagreed, then we agreed on a conclusion. We are re-starting our friendship, totally minus sex.
He is fucking hot, this guy, he’s stunning, with the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. Call me shallow, it's OK... But now, I've mentioned the dick you remember him, right?? But definitely, for us, friendship is the way forward. The sex thing has gone on/off/on/off for too many years to bother continuing it when that’s not what I want any more. I’ve had my piece of his pie.
I know that this guy and I will be able to hang out together with little or no issues. Why? Well, although he has a strong, muscular body and he’s 6/3’ – I’ve never massively fancied him. He has a beautiful face which I once described as 'perfect', but the thing is, he didn’t draw me to him like Blue used to.
Another reason we are likely to be able to make a smooth transition into a platonic relationship? He is strong willed and he will ‘prove’ to me that he never wanted me ‘just for sex’ as I stupidly tried to imply earlier. I only said this because I felt trapped during our chat. Our arrangement suited us both but I want it to change now.

I like him a lot. He's a really nice guy to be around. He’s driven, he’s cool, he’s getting successful and he’s clever. I like that. I don't know too much about the rest of him, cos we've never talked too indepth, even after knowing each other for so long. At least from the view point that we’re both focused on world domination – a genuine friendship can grow. He's creative and I try to be - so let's see if I can behave normally. He's worth having a friendship with.

... especially just before I was leaving one of his friends came to meet him. There's only one word to describe the friend: FIT!
But you won’t believe what he does... He’s a bloody actor! Just like Blue. But unlike Blue, this guy's on TV etc.

I’m staying clear. For now.