Tuesday, 8 December 2009

"It's Not You it's Me"

“It’s not you, it’s me.”

*Bet you're grinning already, aren't you? That'Oh dear, here we go kinda smirk...*What’s wrong with using this phrase? I don't get it. Why do people talk scornfully about this sentence, raise their lips to a wry smile and shake their head as if to say: 'Ahh, so she hit you with that one, did she?"

"It's not me it's you," makes complete sense, to me. Am I missing something, here?

Surely if you are in a relationship, and the other person chooses not to be with you any longer, for whatever reason – that choice is about them, so they would be perfectly in their right to say 'Look, this is about me, it's not you.'
And likewise, if you do the kicking top the curb - It's your choice so, it is about yourself and not them.

What with the big cynicism about people using this phrase?

If you're doing the dumping, you've made the decision, so surely, it is about me (as the dumper) and not you (as the dumped.)

If I dump someone does the real reason matter? I mean, if you get dumped - do you really, really want to know the exact reason why? It's rarely so simple that balck & white explanations can be given unless your partner stopped fancying you. And then, would you really want to know that?

No, I didn't think so...

OK, so let's say I dump someone cos I've noticed he has a habit of constantly picking his bum and sniffing it. Am I supposed to say this to you? I never would. I'm far more graciousthan to embarass someone like that.
For me, if my decision is made, and the thing is over, then surely that is about me – and not you.

Why would I say to the fictious (no really, he is, ficticious!) offender as mentioned above: ‘Look mate, the real problem why I'm ending this is that you keeping picking at your bottom and not content with just that - you keep smelling it and, you may be surprised to hear that, that’s put me off you’.

Why would I do that to someone?
The said chap clearly enjoys the aroma of his picked bum, that’s why he does it, and that's not my business, is it.

Some might say: 'Well by telling him it gives him a chance to change.' I wouldn’t even want to be with someone who would have to promise me that he wouldn’t perpetually do something that upsets me. I’d hate to be with a guy who promises me that he’d change. I'd never even suggest it. Sod that.

My style? I watch and listen to how people are in their relaxed and natural state... That way, you learn everything you need to know about them.

So, I ask you my friends - what is wrong with ‘It’s not you, it’s me,’ eh??
It’s always the decison makers problem/issues, whatever, surely? This makes sense, does it not?
Even if someone cheats on you - It's still you making the decison that you won't tolerate it, and the cheater should get a one way ticket to hell and not look up on his way down. So on ending it - yeah, you could scream - 'We're done cos you cheated on me, you effing *bleeep* low down *bleeeep* effing *bleeep*' But why bother? Conserve your energy and just tell him:

'I just cannot and will not accept your behaviour for another minute longer.'

"I'm sorry, sorry baby, Please"

'It's not you, it's me.'

This might baffle him. But to me, this is logic, right?