Monday, 28 September 2009

I had a revelation today!

Just a quickie – I’m about to go into the bath, wash my hair and do my bits i.e. wax my snatch.
I had a revelation today. I have finally remembered how to write a book! Yippeee!! I can’t tell you how happy I am about this. A switch has been flicked on in my mind and the concentration is there.

I haven’t been concentrating at all recently and I don’t believe I could have forced myself to get to this. I believe in natural rhythms and I was waiting to see when this would occur. Thank you God for lifting the veil sooner than later.
Forgive me for stating the obvious but writing a book doesn’t just happen while you’re thinking about other things.
There is a process, which I’d couldn't find inside myself. It has been handed to me today. The level of concentration in order to ensure that all the necessary detail for a reader to not question what is being meant, cannot be undertaken with half my brain cells over there, when the book is supposed to be getting written, here.

Now the obsession will begin, my friends. I will dream about it, take notes as I sit on the train. My relationship will start to blossom as it take over everything. I want it to be like that. I'm not an experienced enough writer, yet, to know any other way than how I did it before with Hooked.

I like this second book. I like this process. It’s exciting. I feel worthwhile. It's nice to find happiness within myself instead of seeking outside of me. But lets face it, regardless of therapy spiel and y'all know I've had years of the stuff! It isn't unusual for a person to seek happiness outside themselves. That's what I usually do but I don't give myself a hard time about it. I'm far from perfect. All anyone can do is try, eh!? try to get through life as best as we can.

But over the next months I think I may live text book happiness; that joy which is produced by myself, internally.
No one can come inbetween this. Like with Hooked I gave up a lot in order to write it in the time I wanted to. I will do the same now with UnHooked.

I feel motivated. I feel happy knowing that I can fulfill my ambition, as long as God doesn't decide to wipe me off the planet tomorrow.

You see, I never doubted that Hooked will be published. It just never entered my head that it wouldn't be – despite the hundreds of thousands of writers who don’t get that fortune.
UnHooked, I intend to make better than Hooked. It will be everything plus some cream.

I’ve had moments of elation today. I feel alive. If this goes anything like writing Hooked was, it gave me times of feeling more alive than ever. I was in a heightened state of awareness a lot of the time. But with that came times ( every few weeks) of utter tiredness.
It’s just me and the book now. Nothing else comes into my mind when I’m writing it and the majority of my thoughts will be about it, even when I’m not infront of a computer. I’ve turned a corner. It happened today. Yaaay!
Now, I know I can write this book. I'm not one to spout off this stuff then a few days later I come back to you with my tail between my legs declaring that I have been hasty in writing this note to you. Nope. I'm saying it because this change is very real and it is happening, and because it does not involve anyone other than myself, nothing will alter its course.

I questioned myself and doubted my abilities to write UnHooked. I feel such a huge sense of relief that I am focused once again.
The only thing I need to watch out for is not working until 2 or 3am when I have work the next day. Occasionally, I will do it. I know I will.

But I must try and practice allowing myself enough time to relax before bedtime, otherwise adrenalin will keep me up. And that just won’t do. A girl’s got to get some beauty sleep regardless of if she’s building and empire or not.