Sunday, 30 August 2009

The Abyss

I don’t know what’s happened to me the past days . I feel as though I’ve been really absent from the blog and from Facebook. I’m not sure why. I think it has something to do with there being changes in my life. New job, new flat, new fella, book , cutting ties – all emotional stuff.
At least for me it has been emotional. I’m sensitive like that. And to be truthful I’ve been finding it difficult to dedicate an adequate amount of time to things outside of the above mentioned.
Hey ho... I’m here now and I’ve no doubts I will be reverting to my usual daily postings soon enough.

I’ve had to cut Dee free. As you know we had contact again. I’ve told him that I’m with someone and that we need to cut contact from each other again. It’s been awkward and upsetting knowing that I’m hurting someone that I care about. But it’s better this way... The thing was starting feeling complicated. I was heading to rack and ruin as far as my current lover goes – because I didn’t know how to be, with a past boyfriend. Dee is a past boyfriend for a reason. Why would I risk spoiling the feelings that are being exchanged between myself and the Ingdigo hued* current lover who wishes not to be mentioned in this blog? It would be silly and short sighted of me to do so.

The man who wishes not to be named is the blog is with me right now drinking tea. We just tried to set up Virgin Media through a Telewest connection. Well – he did. But alas it seems as though we must wait to call Virgin Media to activate the dastardly thing. How long have I had this thing?? Pah! I don’t even know if it will work, because the connection in the wall has a Tele West stamp on it.
God, bring back Sky. What the hell happened to Sky? At one time isn’t that all we had? Wasn’t that the only option? All this choice is ruining the simplicity of life.

Tomorrow is the Notting Hill Carnival. You going? I very much doubt that I will be... I don’t like it despite going every year except one. Call me a snob, but it’s too ghetto for my liking. I’ve lived in the thick of it three years back. Nightmare. At any moment I am convinced that a fight will take place when I’m at the carnival; especially in the Ragga area where testosterone, booze consumption and weed smoking is permeating the air at high levels.
Regardless, I must go out tomorrow... It’s gonna be hot apparently. And when the sun is out – it would be rude not to go out and play.