Monday, 20 July 2009

Weak Constitution? Read with caution.

Right breath... I must breath.
I had a fantastic day today at my new job. OK, I didn’t do anything but listen and laugh with the girl whose job I’m taking over. She is hilarious, angry, impatient and sweet at the same time... Sounds odd? But she is. We laughed so much. We didn’t get any practical work done ( not that there is much) but it was good to get a feel of the office and to get the inside info about the people that I will be working with. She was very open. For this I am grateful . Thankfully she had nothing bad to say about anyone.
She simply warned me about certain people who, at times are moody, pedantic, or anal. That’s OK. So, I’m working with regular people and not robots. Good to know.
Anyway, onto what I really want to tell you... While I was listening and chatting I was also getting bombarded with flashback from my weekend of lurrrve.
OK raise your eyebrows if you must it’s alright, but these are the facts.
Yep. A real live man. No it’s not my dad, well, it is. I love daddy too – but I am not referring to him on this occasion. Err, no it’s not S either. He is merely a friend.
There is, my friends, a brand new romantic suitor that has caught my attention, pierced my soul and squeezed any resistance out of my mind.
Was that a yawn I saw coming from your lips??
No? Oh good.
OK – we need a name for this new addition to our family... Right, let me think. First you must know that his real name is actually a girls name. Nope, it’s not Hilary or Lesley. If it was I wouldn’t have licked his ice-cream, never mind his excessively large penis.

OK – i can’t think anymore. He shall, from this day forth be called ‘Girlsname’.
I’m laughing because that’s silly.

No. I will call him Blue - for now. His eyes are intensely blue and when he looks at me they invite me to swear devotion to him for my entire life.

God, where do I start with this...?
I have been bowled over by a spectacular human being who is the epitome of everything that is good. So why should I be coy and reserved about wanting anyone who will listen to know about how I am feeling?
Society states that we are not supposed to experience love and certainly not express it – until we ‘get to, or have got to know someone’... Why ? Is love exclusive to experiencing shared pain, laughter,tears, joy, outings. Having shared goals, feelings, values?
Well, Blue and I have shared those things with eachother over the past 36 hours. How? We talked, and talked, and talked... So you’re still not convinced that I can be in love ? Let me ask you - why must love imply longevity? Why?

I am sure that right now my feelings for Blue are more powerful than that of some couples that have been together for years. So if these feelings don’t last, does that mean that they are not real? Of course they are. They are very real. I am feeling them and I am real. I’m not a machine.
Right now and for the past 48 hours I have been feeling love for someone. Intense passionate longing.

I first met Blue before I got involved with my last relationship – but due to circumstance nothing happened and I didn't think it ever would. It wasn't possible. He lived outside of London. When I met him the first words from my mouth were ‘You remind me of someone that I know’. I felt as though I knew him already or had met him before.

I could write about this all night but I don’t want to turn your stomach any more.
I could be with him every moment. We separated last night at around 9.30pm and all day I have been missing him. I have never been so connected with someone in my life. Not on all levels like this. Physically, emotionally, spiritually. This is magical. And we all know (as he does) that I’ve known a few men in my time.
I don’t even know the words to describe him and the impact he has had on me. I feel blessed that even if this moment evaporated over night – I have experienced it. I will never forget the time we have just spent together. I have been given a gift straight from God.
I would marry him tomorrow the way I feel today. He knows everything about me. I know lots about him. He accepts me. I accept him. He’s interesting, clever, handsome, so, so sensual – yet he can most definitely pound me when I want it. And the kisses... we kissed, and kissed, and kissed and kissed.... I have no doubts that we smooched for literally hours –He’s sensitive, powerful, gentle, masculine, strong.

When I talk about how he is in bed – you must remember something: I have had sex with a lot of men. I have experienced being touched, licked, stroked, fucked, made love to, amongst other things by goodness knows how many men – and this guy, Blue, is special.
He is a master technician. He's incredibly skilled at what he does.
We had a rapport which can not be replicated with just anyone, if at all. This stuff is either there or it’s not. He must have smelt good to me at a base, animal instinctive level.

I could go on and on and on and on....(even more) I could, no problem. You see – he wants me too. Today we both want each other. Today I am in love.

Who can say that is wrong? Today is all we have. Today is all that matters. Today is everything.