Sunday, 5 July 2009

taking time out

Hello – I’m not doing well.
I’ve been going through some sort of emotional collapse the past day or so.
I did something stupid and took some sleeping tablets – then more – then I then I freaked out because I don’t want to die. I want to live, but I’m finding it very difficult with my current situation.

I spoke to Dee who told me that he doesn’t want me. I feel I want him. I’m scared about my housing situation. I’m upset that I don’t have a job. I’m incredibly anxious, very paranoid and yesterday while having an anxiety attack I started taking these tablets. I was stupid and I regret it. I was in hospital last night so they could check my blood, and I’ve just had a nurse come and see me now.

I won’t be in Facebook for a few days – but I will probably write some blog posts here.

Unfortunately Facebook feels too personal for me at the moment and I cannot face one on one interactions. I’m so sorry this has happened. I have been trying to keep my head above water, but it all caved in on me yesterday.

I will be back shortly. I just need a break. I need to put all my thoughts and energies into resolving my current situation.

Many thanks to all of you for your support and your love. xxx