contradictions & tit bits.

I'm completely over the ex-boy going out on Sunday night now.... SING: 'She's like the Wind' - I tell ya!! Bi-polar alert! I joke - but you all know I take tablets to keep me out of trouble, so I'm joking, instead of crying.

You know something: I feel at my best when I’m doing something constructive i.e working on my book.
There is nothing else in my life where I am particularly organised or where I particularly pro active. I’m naturally quite lazy and with regards to ‘action’ – I’m pretty laid back and really only do thing which are really necessary, unless I'm on holiday, then I like to nosey around old rubble and check out the history.

There is literally nothing that equals the joy that working on my book brings me – except that point just seconds before orgasm – and let’s face it that’s over quickly. Whereas the book taps into my obsessive side, which awakens something in me which I really get off on. Adrenalin probably... but ask me to do a bungee jump for an adrenalin rush – and you’d be waiting forever... unless say, my dad’s life was at stake, then I’d have to do it. But doing it purely for some perverse ‘pleasure’ I'd prefer just to remain on firm ground, but thanks anyway...

This book writing malarky is new to me... You know I write for magazines and newspapers at times, right? But a book is a vastly different process. It’s something which I never imagined would be quite as it is - until I started doing it. And as the process goes on, it changes as does everything, and it’s so interesting to learn what must be done along this journey.
You know when you imagine, say, riding on the back of a motor bike, and eventually you do it – and somehow, it feels familiar - probably because you’d imagine it exactly how it is.

Well, I thought writing a book would be a matter of me sitting in front of a computer and tapping my thoughts onto the screen. Well, it’s proved to be far different to that. It’s interesting, exasperating and really fuckin’ annoying at times but a huge thrill when I see a beautiful sentence or I instinctively know where something should be altered. Sometimes I try and think of any procrastination technique to stop myself from facing yet another session on the book – other times, I can’t wait to wake up to get going with it.

I am a very intense person. That’s is good and bad, but it’s me, so it’s OK. I don't harm any one. My intensity is veiled across everything. Be it with a man, my book, the way I interact with friends, sex, food,(everything I cook is highly flavoured.)
I enjoy excess, but I love simplicity. I love indulgence, and modesty. I love over doing some things ( sex, chocolate, ice cream, pampering... can you 'over do pampering?) and I enjoy under playing others ... I think I mentioned before that I excessively brush my teeth in the morning, two piles of toothpaste straight into my mouth - I use more shampoo and conditioner and body lotion than I need. God knows if I lived in a hot country how many showers I’d take each day... more than necessary, I’m guessing.
But these days I do everything with a conscious. When I am excessive, I know it, and I’m allowing myself to be – well, most of the time. Some times I just act, but that’s only with things that won’t have a negative ricochet effect on my life.
Although I take a couple of showers a day, or maybe one, then a bath – I do hate wasting water. It’s a pet hate of mine. I don’t like excess perfume but I always without fail wear perfumed body lotion, which I rub into all my body, of course, except my flesh flower. This is the way forward I reckon... perfumed body lotion is far more sensual than perfume. I’ve done that for the past 5 years. Before getting sober, despite having thousands of pounds through my hands every week, I begrudged spending even 20 quid on a MAC foundation (and foundation is something I needed. My skin was pretty shoddy.) So at that time trying to get me to spend money on perfumed lotion, was like trying to get me to do a bungey jump. There was no chance!


A list of my favourite perfumed creams:
Shalimar, Givenchy
Irresistable, Givenchy
Happy, Clinique

The make-up I like to use daily
Bronzer
Lip balm
Skin illuminator

My essential cleanliness techniques
Dry between all toes
Use wet wipes after taking a dump
Brushing my tongues and gums

My essential health necessities.
Fruit and vegetables
Water
Sleep.

Things I am most obsessive about.
Politeness – other people’s and my own/Integrity ( is that two?)
Hygiene
My mental health

Things that make me instantly happy.
Kind gestures
A pep talk from Mark ( the guy i was with when i was 19. My Mr Big)
Seeing other people happy, especially when people are laughing - I can guarantee, I'll be laughing with them, even if I don't know what they're laughing at.



















Check out my Facebook page if you fancy a more personal chat. I'm under the name Missy Gee.