Saturday, 7 March 2009

my boy's insecurity

oh dear, oh dear...
The boy arrived back from a day's work in Geneva yesterday and he 'sensed' that something was wrong.
He thinks I've been 'different' the past days, and I am 'not as bothered about our relationship.'

Ahh... well, something being 'wrong' with us is not a new phenomena.It's our default mode:

"What's wrong?"
"No, I know something's wrong... what's wrong?"
"Well, I can feel that something's wrong"
"What do you mean?"
"I can sense it. I know you very well don't forget..."

These conversations are very usual and are instigated by both parties. It's always boringly the same. Unless it's me pursuing the cause of the frost which has descended between us - then the difference is I rarely give up until I get to the crux of the tension.

But last night after 'I sense something is wrong' - I got:

"Have you met someone?"

What? Hells bells!

As a result of this question (which is the first time he has ever asked me that) I realised that he truly was feeling insecure,so I decided to take down my last two posts. He'd began to read them and I don't want to make him more worried than he clearly already is.

Just now, literally this second while seeing me writing this he's just said:

"Err...don't worry I'm not longer going to read your blog, so don't let it stifle what you write, OK?"
"Oh, have you been reading this the whole time?" I asked, considering he'd always told me that he didn't want to.
"No,just today but I won't again...I promise. Just one thing... who is Alex?"