Saturday, 8 May 2010

Late Last Night

Gosh! What a few days. I can't really pin point how I'm feeling. I think the best way to describe it would be: Take a sharp breath inward, then blow out slowly and forcefully... Do you know what I mean? Yeah, that's right...

So, last night I went on Jo Good's Late radio show on BBC London. The best way to describe how I was feeling last night, before the show, would be to say that I was crapping myself. I had no need to though ... the lady is a lady. Put me instantly at ease, she's cool and worldly. I like that. I like women who have their shit together and who are open minded, intelligent, compassionate and with a little naughty side. I hope if the legendary Ms Good reads this - which would make me laugh if she did, (she's read bits of this blog much to my horror and amusement) then I hope she will take my words as complimentary.

So, last night was fun. No - not that kind of fun. I wish! I'm talking about being on the radio dhalrings! heheee...
This is new and exciting and I'm enjoying it. I slept well once I was home and woke today feeling great. This lasted approximately 2.5 hours - and then I got a text from a friend telling me that I am in Cosmopolitan; two pages.

OK, I knew I would be, but I expected it to be out until next week. Despite there only being a few days in it, this news strangely put me into a nervous spin and I suddenly felt really exposed. I walked down the street feeling very Arrgh! to go and buy a copy.
It's nuts, I know, and part of me wishes that I was in a loving relationship so I could share all this stuff with a partner. But as I well know, sadly, if I was in a relationship it would take primary place in my thinking and I wouldn't be processing what is going on right now. Part of this whole exercise, for me, is to face my past head-on without fear or shame. Hmmm... the shame part of this is still a tricky hurdle for me to deal with; but as I say time and again amigos - time tells all.

I have realised that since HOOKED has been in my life (2 years) I have constantly been working towards its publication. And now..? Well, now, it's out there. And now..? Well, now, it's time to see what happens around the next corner.

Cripes! 'Tell me what I shall find oh Wise Oracle...' No, don't actually! Even if I could know - would I want to? Nah, only if I was about to win a zillion quid, then it'd be good to know, at least then I could plan a great expedition back to Zambia to try and find mummy. But since I haven't won a load of squids that will have to wait.

Just watched the film An Education - Just my type of film. Loved it. Bravo!