Saturday, 2 May 2009

Dee & Kieran go fuck yourselves! (and PLS read this)

Isn’t swearing the most supreme yet simplistic form of communication? Sounds like a contradiction, right?
Well, just in case you didn’t realise - I love it.

Now, if it wasn’t for the introduction of profanities into the English language life would be far more dull... take this post for example.
If I told you that last night ‘Wasn’t particularly great and I hope to not bump into a certain person again’; you wouldn't even bother shrugging your shoulders - never mind raise any desire to get the details.

But if I told you that last night was ‘One hellova a fucking disaster, and if I ever see that fucking cunt again I will spit on him.’

You get that I’m annoyed, right?

Not only do you understand that I’m annoyed, you also have a very good inkling to the degree that I am annoyed.
You know instantly that I was more annoyed than if the Jubliee Line stops for no obvious reason more than twice on a 5 stops journey.

In fact the cause of my disgruntlement is with one of Dee’s apparent ‘friends’ who he tells me is a ‘sleaze bag when it comes to women’. The guy can’t drink more than a couple of Brandy and Cokes
(coca-cola. Cocaine doesn’t mix well with liquid) without lurching at anything with a pair of tits and trying to talk to her.

Kieran - Yes, that’s his real name, cos I don’t give a flying toss about his anonymity. If he wanted to sue my ass for defamation of character he wouldn’t have a fucking leg to stand on.
Well, he would, but the bell-bottom-jeans-wearing-5-foot-nothing-tosser wouldn’t get very far.
OK – I don’t know Kieran. Not really. I’ve just heard the rumours via my faithful boyfriend, who recently has taken to hanging out with a creep. What was that?
‘People are as good as the people they’re friends with...’ – yes, my thinking exactly. So, I’ve been harbouring this resentment towards this short ass twat for ages, and last night all my anger towards him and Dee and my feelings of exclusion with their two person party, came gushing out.

I told Kieran that if he ever encourages Dee to chat up women when he, Kieran knows that me and Dee are together – I’ll break his, Kieran’s balls. Now I know Dee has a mind of his own. But I also wonder why the fuck he hangs around with some dickhead who’s literally desperate to find a woman. Dee’s words, not mine.
So, while I was towering over Kieran, telling him his fortune - Dee stepped in, gallantly to save the short ass and shouted at me ‘never speak to his friend like that again’.
Friend, now, is it? Kieran was a fellow that Dee told me he could barely communicate with, until recently, when seemingly they’ve been joined at the fucking hip.
Anyway – I then did something shameful. As Dee was shouting and trying to intimidate me, in the middle of the bar - I walked off with my friend K, whose night I ruined. We left. Dee text me: ‘It’s over. I will never speak to you again’.

I’m relieved.

Especially after just yesterday morning I found 2 condoms in his wallet.

Me and he use condoms. I’m not on the pill – but I’ve asked him before not to carry them in his wallet. He told me that he wouldn’t . Now, I respect the fact that we broke up and so he had every right, in fact it’s sensible that a guy about town should carry protection with him....... you just never know.

But when the guy in question went on to tell me that he ‘couldn’t remember putting them in there and when he did it....’ I told him he should bloody remember since we only broke up (first time) about 4 weeks ago. It’s too recent to have forgotten already, surely.
Dee and Kieran can both go to hell hand in hand, and on their way down – they can kiss my brown ass.

Check out my Facebook page if you fancy a more personal chat. I'm under the name Missy Gee.