Thursday, 21 May 2009

birthday commiserations!

Right then. It’s my birthday.

Boohoo! Boohoo!
Thank you so much for my birthday greetings Mon Cehries. You’re all so giving and kind.

Look, amigos I need a husband, I need to get my book onto Borders’ shelves, I need to make money, I need a house in the countryside. I need a car to pop three children into so I can drive them to and from wherever… (if only I could drive.)
Bollocks. I want everything and I want it now. Yes, now. I am now officially an adult, apparently; a woman of child bearing age who needs to get a bloody move on.

Talking of bloody… the period I’ve been waiting for the past two months for, finally arrived today, and I’m telling ya, it’s making it’s presence known! I feel so over emotional. I was crying last night. Tears have welled in my eyes again, now.

When I say I want everything Now. That’s exactly what I mean in case you didn’t believe me. Now, as in this year.
Am I desperate? Not in the socially demeaning manner of the word, no. Eager, yes. Will I search all over town for it? No. No need.

If I met someone who I could get through 6 months with without us wanting to kill each other then I’d marry him… Why do I need to wait 2 or 3 years? Let’s face it from first meeting someone, to even get to second date status with that person, never mind passed that – he must have accrued many positive points. He must be interesting, charming, clever, handsome, intriguing, sophisticated, well mannered, patient, balanced…… want me to go on…? OK then, as well as the above he must be adventurous, quick witted, with a sweet ass. Now, that makes for a number of options in the relationship stakes for him does it not?

But don’t forget when dealing with a woman that has the same attributes - you can multiply their opportunities by at least 10, no?
Women always get more opportunities, don’t they?
So, considering I’ve met more men than I wish to remember – the questions remain:



Dee is all the aforementioned – but as for a sniff of marriage with him anytime in the next two/three years I can forget that. But the kids! What about the kids?
I will give it a few months now and hopefully we will continue on this new found wave of stability, then see how I’m feeling about my future then, mainly about the babies front That’s my biggest concern.

Like I said to him last night - this is my life – not our life. I have to plan for my individual life as he has to plan for the things he wants for himself. I plan. I have to. I make things happen. I always have. And I plan to make sure that I am in a financially stable position before spring of next year, so I can approach a consenting friend to consider fathering my babies. That is if I am not in a reliable and stable relationship. (IVF all the way) I don’t fuck friends.
No, I do. Some. I call most people I’ve had sex with a ’friend’ tho, and I’m in contact with a few of them. The only people I don’t call friends are ‘people I know’ AKA ‘acquaintences.’ Having sex with someone can be a good way to kinda break the ice, no? That’s what myself and my friends (some friends) think…. It’s much better than a handshake, don’t you agree?

But after saying all this – after today, once I’ve eased off this flood of blood flowing from my womb, and once the emphasis is no longer of this turning of age thing– If someone mentions kids, I’ll probably say:

“What kids?” I’m too young for kids.

By ‘eck (as Auntie Flo would say)- I wish I still could say that but let’s face it I can’t.