Thursday, 2 April 2009

sex friends and herbal tea

Oh dear I’m a bad and naughty egg.

A friend of mine just popped over. In fact he is an ex-buddy of the sex variety and yes, he's still hot. He proved that as we sat and drank herbal tea and chatted about his work, his plans for the future and my ex-relationship.
Why, why do I have such fit male ‘friends?’ – probably cos I’ve slept with a few of them...
Hmmm, have a guess did I, or didn’t I, tonight? Well, no I didn't, so there.

The physical consisted of an attempted fondling of my vulva which was stifled by L. calling me to discuss her Yank mate she recently met while in Bangladesh.

So, the ex-sex-friend who is only an ‘ex’-sex-buddy because I got with my boyfriend, (so dropped him in the name of monogamy) just popped over. Now he’s left and now I’m wondering if he should pop back so he can pop it in me or at the very least perhaps he'd like to go down on me for a few.
No, No... I’m supposed to be off men. I must leave them alone – but they keep appearing... I can’t decide what I want at the moment, so as the old saying goes : ‘If in doubt, don’t’... So maybe I'm not so bad after all, cos I didn’t.
Is i just me or am I particularly susceptible to good looks and humour? Hell, not even humour, just good looking people, regardless of gender. I'm not a looks fascist, far from it - but if you have a choice then why not opt for something/ someone you like the look of? Especially when I already know it tastes good too.
I like men and you know I like sex.

Take this guy, I’ve known him intimately for years, on and off , and our thing has always worked satisfactorily for both of us. But I get the feeling that is I was to ride him this time, he’s gonna get a tad clingy. He referred to us on more than one occasion as ‘ We we used to go out’... when was that? I thought we were just having sex, not seeing each other. Maybe he he wouldn’t get clingy - maybe my ego is too big for my head - but for sure, the last thing I want is hassle.
I mean, I’d fuck him if I could get away with just walking away and keeping things how they were before, then why not? But what I can’t be doing with at the moment is the risk of finding myself in a situation where I have to consider the possibility that a guy I bed, may want to cuddle after sex...
I don’t need that or want it. Not now.

I do wonder if my thinking is at times, typically that of a man? I’ve been accused of this before simply because I’ve wanted space; be it they leave, I leave, or we don’t touch each other after we’re through. Right now, the thought of holding onto a different body that’s not my ex-boyfriend, or feeling some unknown sweat in my bed, does nothing to me except make my lip curl. I can fuck. That I can do, but cuddles, no sir ree. Not right now.
Yes, I am a mass of contradictions,I've never hidden that. I do want a life long union, but today, tonight I'd rather have a cup of tea.

My new mantra: I hope it lasts more than five minutes.
“I must concentrate on me. I must focus on Gee. These handsome men that make themselves so available – ignore them. Ignore them.”