My book, UNHOOKED is released today!

A review for my new book, UNHOOKED, in Look! magazine!

The book i released today!

press release

the original press release for UNHOOKED

http://tinyurl.com/7vhttp://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gif5mnh3

listen!

a little majesty for your ears

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9u6jKV9TPLc&ob=av2e

Book Launch

My next book is released on March 1st - book launch is March 7th.

Can't wait! Beside that, I've been told that UNHOOKED will be available on Kindle and for download from the same date: March 1st.


http://www.amazon.co.uk/Unhooked-Rehab-London-Call-Girl/dp/1845967968/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1326379961&sr=1-3

A review of UNHOOKED

A review of UNHOOKED.


"CG, I found it a compelling read. And I say that not to blow smoke up your arse, but because its true. I like your style, I find it earthy, articulate, intelligent and with a consistent theme of "feet on the ground", you manage to keep keep it gripping, shocking even, without saying things just for effect.

You also add some dimensions I didn't expect, let me explain.

Nearly every reader will know this is a story of a reformed drug addict, alcoholic, prostitute... etc. Bet when you explained in your early days of rehab your other addiction (traits) for sexual attention to feel loved, valued etc. Well that surprised me, I felt I was getting a genuine, full blown insight into the workings of a mind of someone trying to come to terms with all the horrors of where her mind had become.

Another thing I found very stylish and another reason why I love your style is you get the balance just right in your use of language. The majority is you speaking as an articulate author, but you throw in just enough slang to keep it real but not too much to put the reader off and therefore don't lose the intelligent theme. I mean this is a worthy, clever thesis on the mind, the psychology of an addicts mind, and the goblins therein.

Another and very clever area this stylish theme comes across is how you deal with the sexual themes as they emerge. I imagine it would be very easy, forgive me for saying, because of your background, to fall into "titillation" which you avoid very skillfully..! You address the sexual energy but don't ever indulge it in... very smart. In fact the only time there is any explicit sex is very brief after you have left the centre and reunite with Leon. What I am trying to say is that you keep the readers respect the whole way through, its a very fine balance which, in my view you hit just perfectly. As I said. honesty but not indulgence.

I suppose the only ... and its not negative.. its just how it made me feel.. wobbly bit is that at times I found it so brutally honest and insightful there were moments when I found it quite harrowing.

This may be complicated to explain but the unintended consequence (of good intent) is there are some who may be put off by the horror of rehab and therefore not dare face it ... if they have read this book. BUT my bet is that there will be far more (me included) who will read this and pull there shit together so as to never have to fall as low as you went and go through what you have been through. Does that make sense? It is meant as a positive. I have addictive traits, which I can bore you with another time, maybe that's why I found some bits so harrowing and powerful. "

Jeremy


UNHOOKED, is currently available in WHSmith's in UK airports ONLY (promotional/publishing-business purposes. don't ask) It is officially released on March 1st onto the high street and will then be available through Amazon.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Unhooked-Rehab-London-Call-Girl/dp/1845967968/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1327922497&sr=1-3

Being British

Being British is about driving a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer,then on the way home grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab,to sit on a Swedish sofa and watch USA shows on a Japanese TV. Most of all its about being suspicious of anything Foreign. Oh, and only in Britain can you get a pizza to your home faster than a ambulance. Only in Britain do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counter. Supermarkets make sick people walk to the back of the shop for prescriptions while healthy people get their cigarettes at the front.
We might be British but fuck, we're funny !

UNHOOKED - a book on rehab and change.

X-rated. (not) sorry.

check this out....

http://tinyurl.com/779u6w9

it's not gonna make your computer combust and it's not x-rated (sorry)

Got sent a copy of my new book !

I've received the first copy of my new book, UNHOOKED!!!
I'm totally thrilled and overwhelmed! It's real. Its here!

It's currently on sale for pre-publication orders on Amazon for a hugely reduced price.

Take a look or not. As you wish! http://www.amazon.co.uk/Unhooked-Rehab-London-Call-Girl/dp/1845967968/ref=pd_rhf_ee_p_t_2

mean it

Say it. Do it. Feel it. Own it.

Paid!

just got an email from my agent: 'Paid!' ... that'll do me.

Something good

You know that something good is gonna happen...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IbqLNptLGzI

Beauty Has Her Way

I'm an 80s lover... so, sue me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I92u-SJRNM4

hear the words.

Passion

worth 40 seconds of your life... this is passion.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H4khZNsudmA

Book cover

This is the new cover for UNHOOKED, chosen by the publishers.
The book is released on March 1st 2012.

read some of my book, here...

Click on the link below and you can read parts of my book!

http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/1845966031/ref=s9_simh_bw_p14_d17_g14_i1?pf_rd_m=A3P5ROKL5A1OLE&pf_rd_s=center-3&pf_rd_r=03SNS1B166YSA8QDR19R&pf_rd_t=101&pf_rd_p=261577747&pf_rd_i=266239#reader_B004K6ME72

Me and The Man

ME: 'I'm just about to start doing some more book work, although i don't want to. I feel like staring at the TV and doing nothing.'

THE MAN: 'Sweetheart, you work hard. We've just spent 24 beautiful hours together, allow a relaxing and smooth end to come to your weekend. Why don't you have a hot bath now and start writing again tmrw.'

hear hear!

The Cure

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1aVesAlrtNM

'the spider man is having me for dinner tonight'

My Book

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Hooked-Confessions-London-Call-Girl/dp/1845966031/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1318325721&sr=1-1

if you don't like these - you have poor taste!

makes me wanna jig.

each time I hear this makes my life becomes a little happier..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gt7mtdLha-c

This Weekend

Me: 'I'm about to book a treatment for us each, for this weekend. Which do you prefer? A facial or massage?'

The Man: 'I want everything.'

Me: You'll get everything from me. Now, what do you want from the Spa?'

The Man: 'You'

Me: 'What else?'

The Man: 'You.'

Me: 'Come on, seriously, do you want a facial or a massage?'

The Man: 'I want you. That's all I want. You.'

one guess who this is :O/

this is funny!

I'd arranged to see a friend after work today. I sent him a text this morning saying that i've got some things to do at home so can't be long so we could always postpone 'til next week, if he preferred...

This was his response, word for word:

'I'm busy all next week Clare - I can't see us going for a three course dinner,(tonight) then popping to my dealers for a couple of grams of coke and then of to a club till 4, watch the sun rise and then fuck in dirty worried positions till 10 am. That wasn't the sort of night I had planned!! That's Friday night - look I'm in town after a meeting, if you've got an hour or so that's great if you want to bail-out, don't worry, I'll see you soon. x '

Made me laugh!

yeah, i shot it down...so what?

Just Judaced a past relationship with one sentence, ('Oh, gosh, no, it was never a real thing. I kissed him a few times and that's it.') One expression (straight face) and now, just like that, it's virtually never existed.
Wonderful.

well, well...

'I class it as cheating if I'm not there to watch.' He said.

together in electric dreams :O)

We are now officially seeing each other. I'm smiling!

Yes, i was married to 2 men at the same time.

A Question:
'Right, reading your book, obviously you were in a dreadful place, men booze drugs etc, but what surprised be was how hurt, shocked and awful you felt about bigamy. Without trying to sound too judgemental about it, I really would have thought that was the last of your problems but it seemed to shake you to the core. So I suppose I thought, here is a lost soul a broken person (if you will) who has a soul and isn't broken, there is a value system that actually gives a shit. So my question is I would like to hear more about your values, I am just curious that after the surface what are the deep driver, because that’s what saved you... told you it was a curiosity thing... there CG x'



My Answer:
Bigamy was and still is to a degree a big issue for me. The reason being it was so irrational, it scares me to think that i did it. I did it to try and please two people I was involved with. Because to me, this symbolises my levels of insecurity i find it embarrassing.

The prostitution i understand - a means to an end - bigamy, well, that was just odd. I tried to help 2 people to get British visas – that’s what I convinced myself it was about. Of course there was no payment – I have never been mercenary. I cared for these people, but still. it was an absolutely ridiculous thing for me to do. It gives me the creeps still to think i did it. However, I totally accept it.

As I always say - i am my father's daughter. My father, although he has his own issues, is a good man with a strong sense of decency, fairness and socialism, in spite of him being awfully British! The thing is one can never quite rid oneself of the upbringing. I am reserved, quite conservative in many respects, and I’m a traditionalist with relevant values. Based on this the idea of marrying one man then another while still legally married to the first was stupid – and let’s face it – what would a real future husband think to this?

Well, I’ve spoken to him...(the banker)and as he hugged me he grinned and told me he’ll need to enquire around the country to just make sure I’m still not married to anyone else, before we go ahead.... :O)

Civil Disobedience (30 second speach)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H4khZNsudmA&feature=related

'There's a time when the operation of the machine becomes so odious, makes you so sick at heart that you can't take part! You can't even passively take part!'

Mario Savio

like the sound, like the words, like the feeling.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FZyDiuzpHCg&feature=related

I'm stuck in this bed you made
Alone with a sinking feeling
I saw through the words you said

To the secrets you'd been keeping
It's written upon your face
All the lies how they cut so deeply
You can't get enough you take and take and take and never say

No, you gotta get it inside
You push it back down
You push it back down

No, you'll never get it inside
Push it back down
Blackout
Blood in your eye
You say that it's not your fault
And swear that I am mistaken

You said it's not what it seems
No remorse for the trust you're breaking
You run but then back you fall
Suffocate from the mess your making
You can't get enough you take and take and take and take
Fuck it, are you listening?


No, you gotta get it inside
You push it back down
You push it back down
No, you'll never get it inside
Push it back down
You push it back down

No, you gotta get it inside
You push it back down
You push it back down
No you'll never get it inside
Push it back down
Blackout
Blood in your eye

Floating down
As colors fill the light
We look up from the ground
In fields of paper-white
And floating up
You passed us in the night
A future gazing out

A past to overwrite
So come down
Far below
We've been waiting to collect the things you know
Come down
Far below
We've been waiting to collect what you've let go

Come down, oh
Come down, oh
Come down, oh
Come down, oh
Come down, oh

i hold my hands up!

How do I plead? Guilty. Absolutely. Guilty as charged.

Nouvelle Vague (you really should listen to this.)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6CLN-2hwvBg&feature=related

My watch & me.

A friend: 'I can't believe you paid what you did for your watch.'

Me: 'The watch itself is maybe worth a tenner. I paid the rest for those 7 letters that spell out the name.'

Friend: 'Was it worth it? I mean, really?'

Me: 'It was worth every penny.'

Friend: 'Some people would say that's shallow.'

Me: 'And they'd be absolutely right.'

this is beautiful.,, please read. (it's short.)

The Road Not Take


Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,


And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I marked the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.


I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.



Robert Frost.

NOT AGAIN!

someone has to go, and that someone is me. later this year...

What a Shock !!!!

LIVE YOUR LIFE.

I've just been told of someone that I know well, who's 22 years old that died last night in an accident.

5 weeks ago this boy went abroad to begin work on production of his first film after finishing his studies at the LSE. And now, just like that, in an instant - GONE. I spoke to him last thursday and now --- I'm shocked.

Your life can be taken from you at any moment.
Show love to the people you claim to love, don't waste time on bullshit, and be grateful for what you have and not what you don't.

Peace.

original cool

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tJlHiqxMrfI

don't shit on your own doorstep

Him: 'So you don't often have guys round at your flat, then?'
Me: 'Very rarely.'
Him: 'You don't have to try and sound like an angel, you know.'
Me: 'I'm not. I just don't normally shit on my own doorstep, that's all. I go elsewhere.'

this will make you snigger.

Daddy, Mummy and Me

' The feeling of arrival when my father’s pink padded shovels swept towards and then squeezed my body before hurtling me through the air and up to his face where his warm mouth pressed against my shoulder then my cheek, just before I buried my face in his shirt collar, was comparable to a baby drawing its first breath.

He spoke gobbledegook, patted my bottom, and saved me from my mother who now decided she wanted to kiss me. She never usually kissed me. My back was facing her; she ordered me to, ‘come’, but daddy didn’t let go. I was lowered just a little and mummy kissed my hair.

She spoke to me in Lozi her tribe’s language. ‘Do not bring trouble to your Master’s door.’

I ignored her and as daddy tick-tocked away and I clung onto his furry ears, she vanished. I was feeling higher than I’d been for some time. '

whatever!

... and WHAT???

My next book... have a look!

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Unhooked-Rehab-London-Call-Girl/dp/1845967968/ref=pd_rhf_p_t_2

this is brilliant!

If you don't like this...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MXNPkhxnyn8

please don't tell me that you don't like this, for god's sake.
we can't be friends any longer if you say you don't like it... no, really ..

On the radio tonight.

I'm on BBC London radio tonight 94.9fm: The Jo Good Show @ 10pm

My new book's cover... take a look...

the proposal for the cover for my new book, UNHOOKED:













http://www.missygee.com
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Hooked-Survived-Prostitution-Londons-Nightlife/dp/1845966031/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1252794549&sr=1-1

Sex

SEX : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v​=S0XVCSn8Mqc


‎'I will save your life... I'll try for you. i know what to say to take you higher, no one else can take higher, but i will try. i'll find a way...'

if you don't think this is filthy HOT, i just dont know what to say to you any longer

photo

this is where i am right now... writing.

http://www.missygee.com
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Hooked-Survived-Prostitution-Londons-Nightlife/dp/1845966031/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1252794549&sr=1-1

love this -- take a look!

My facebook friend Tim, did this. It's brilliant! take a look... it's not rude, just nice:

http://www.brfreightways.com/index2/tim/clare.html

Pretty Boys and Holidays

I'm going abroad tmrw, alone on a writing mission for a week, and i've just been preparing to become the oddest guest of a small hotel.I intend to keep myself to myself so I can get maximum from this time away. Besides preparing to go away I've been tidying my flat cos I have a girlfriend from Yorkshire staying here for a few days while i'm away. I've haven't been particularly looking forward to going cos i know what i need to do when i get there and because of this I don't feel like I'm going on holiday. I'm going away, yep, to the sun, yep, but I'm gonna be working shit-loads. My plan is this: Snooze in the sun during the day and work through the night. Night time is my best writing time. I did the same thing last year in north Africa, and it was a really good for me. I did tons of writing, and after I'd got back home I realised that I had done some of my best work during that trip. I hope to God i get similar results this time. I'll definitely be on lock down when I'm there. No distractions. I'll purposely be miserable to any male staff, to ensure i get left alone. I can be militant like that when i want to be. I just hope there are no cute waiters in their twenties... Nah, I'm kidding, i'm not that susceptible to pretty boys. Not when I'm on a specific mission which does not include any kissy kissy. When I get tunnel vision there's no amount of beauty or charm or a combination of both, that will shift my focus.

Talking of which... as you may or may not know - I recently had a fling with a 26 year old boy. Yum. Alas, it's not more. It was intense and he's very sexy. Those two weeks were pretty hardcore. blimey. these boys are (well, some of them) mean business. love it! The fling is over in the manner it had begun, but i'm sure I'll see him again sometime in the future. Depending, obviously, on if either of us get distracted by other people before we get to that.

We shall see... but for now, the next week is all about writing. Fucking 'ell. this writing malarky's gonna kill me. I wish i had a boyfriend. An ongoing someone I'd like that. If I had a man - my ideal scenario would be that I go away, write like a demon and then he comes to meet me over there next weekend then we fly back together. Is that so much to ask?

Already I know I'll seriously need a good boning when i get back to release some tension. Er,, where's that boy....???





http://www.missygee.com
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Hooked-Survived-Prostitution-Londons-Nightlife/dp/1845966031/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1252794549&sr=1-1

leaving town.

Tmrw i'm getting outta dodge. 7 nights in southern europe.
London? what's that? See my face .. not interested.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7uIFISklvXY

a brief chat with a friend..

I just had this conversation with a friend in my office. He has just come up with a weird swelling on his leg.

Me: 'I reckon it'll need amputating'
Him: 'Do you want to do it for me?'
Me: 'I cannot inflict physical pain on someone.'
Him: 'But you used to in the past.'
Me: 'That was just mental anguish.'
Him: 'You pushed them around a bit, too'
Me: 'That's cos they paid me.'
Him: 'You're sick' ...


and then we laughed our heads off!

one guess..

http://www.missygee.com
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Hooked-Survived-Prostitution-Londons-Nightlife/dp/1845966031/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1252794549&sr=1-1

gonna rock you

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RHUipyE1cQc

check this girl's face. she means every word.

no smoke without fire!

listen!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9rHNOTtShwM

Tuesday, July 12, 2011 at 12:04pm

First word: Obsession.

What do you think of when you hear this word? I think, instability, pain, ones peace – raped.

Obsession: noun. The domination of one's thoughts or feelings by a persistent idea, image, desire, etc.

So over the past week, I’ve been losing the plot. I’ve felt out of control, and I hate that. As soon as my feelings are getting influenced by the presence of another person - however normal this may be - I freak out. Silly, really... I’m just terrified of losing myself, losing control of my own emotions, my life to a degree. Im terrified of trusting someone to not hurt me.

Oh, and by the way: Don't feel weird about the word; obsession. It often has negative connotations but it's just a word, and I'm just sharing with you a part of me that is often prevalent, thats all. It comes and goes and come and goes. It's just how I am.
I can pin point where this recent speit of instability started... It’s all very clear...

I sent my book to the publishers 2 weeks ago, and then felt a bit at a loss, and then, like a gift from the heavens – drum roll -- I suddenly met a boy. And a delicious one at that. Now, I’m not at all ashamed to admit that I’m pretty susceptible to pretty boys. I’ve tampered with one or two over my lifetime. Especially those who are sweet, a little bit cocky, who are taller than me and who give good kisses. So, this is what’s happened over the last seven days.


I feel so much better today though, than I have done and I accept how I am however annoying my feelings can be at times.

Second word: Equilibrium. What do you think when you hear this word? I think, balance, happiness, contentment, peace.

Equilibrium: noun
1.a state of rest or balance due to equal action of opposing forces.
2.equal balance between any powers, influences, etc.; equality of effect. mental or emotional balance; equanimity.

I’m fucking trying to get there. ... That’s all I can do - try, and smile along the way as often as I can.

old times.

http://www.missygee.com

I suggest you listen to this..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MYiahoYfPGk&feature=related

Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day
Fritter and waste the hours in an offhand way
Kicking around on a piece of ground in your home town
Waiting for someone or something to show you the way


Tired of lying in the sunshine staying home to watch the rain
And you are young and life is long and there is time to kill today
And then one day you find ten years have got behind you
No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun

And you run and you run to catch up with the sun, but it's sinking
Racing around to come up behind you again
The sun is the same in a relative way, but you're older
Shorter of breath and one day closer to death


Every year is getting shorter, never seem to find the time
Plans that either come to naught or half a page of scribbled lines
Hanging on quiet desperation is the English way
The time is gone, the song is over, thought I'd something more to say


Home, home again
I like to be here when I can
And when I come home cold and tired
It’s good to warm my bones beside the fire
Far away across the field
The tolling of the iron bell
Calls the faithful to their knees
To hear the softly spoken magic spells.

Hotpants!

got some Hotpant for my little tush and if truth be told I didn't believe that they'd help me to firm up my ass and hips. I just thought id try for the hell of it. And after less than a week, i actually cant believe that something good's already happeneing. woohoo!! have a look here if you wanna know what i'm banging on about.. http://www.facebook.com/myhotp​ants

Hotpants!

got some Hotpant for my little tush and if truth be told I didn't believe that they'd help me to firm up my ass and hips. I just thought id try for the hell of it. And after less than a week, i actually cant believe that something good's already happeneing. woohoo!! have a look here if you wanna know what i'm banging on about.. http://www.facebook.com/myhotp​ants

Press release about my 2nd book

for those of you who missed it the first time.
fill yer face.

http://www.thebookseller.com/news/mainstream-acquires-hooked-follow.html?utm_source=twitterfeed&utm_medium=twitter

'All you are to me is meat..' HOT.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pjyGlgGdVpM

I'll stick you a little
Enough
To take your oxygen away
Set you on fire
'cos I'm on fire
...And I'm with you,
Alone,
I'm so into this whore
Afraid I might lose her
So forget about me
Because I'll stick you
Pushed back to square
Now that you've kneed her
In the throat
Well there you go
Cause back in school
We are the leaders
Of all so transpose
Or stop your life is what U do
All you are to me is meat
Now pass the flask

it is what it is

“Often I feel I need to go to some distant region of the world to be reminded of who I really am. There is no mystery about why this should be so. Stripped of your ordinary surroundings, your friends, your daily routines, your refrigerator full of food, your closet full of clothes – with all this taken away, you are forced into direct experience. Such direct experience inevitably makes you aware of who it is that is having the experience.”

Michael Crichton

a little obsession

listning to this on repeat... obsessive, i know... gonna start doing some work in a few minutes. She says.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9SqHx5k_DlM

email me here: tell me what you think to the above song...

missy_gee@rocketmail.com

i think its pretty damn sexy. don't you? ahh, thought you would.

I change like British weather.

I've been in a weird mood during the past few days. I've logged off facebook cos i was getting, well, moody with people who think they 'know' me but who actually don't. What I say on facebook or any other medium does not mean you know my M.O.
I dont know always know myself for God's sake. But I can assure you of this - i know myself a damn sight better than youse know me. I sometimes say things for the hell of it. Sometimes, especially when I'm involved with a man, I can express a sentiment and at the time I'm thoroughly genuine and then within days - poof - its changed. I'ts just how i am. I am intense, real and can be flaky. I need to be stoked regularly to maintain my enthusiasm for anything outside of my work, and if this happens I can be as passionate and full-on and loyal as I am with towards what m trying to create for myself. But if I'm not kept stoked it's no skin off my nose if my feelings alter or not.

I'm so changable why presume you can predict how I think or operate from one day to the next?
Jesus.It's men that get on my nerves most with this over presumtious opinions. I never react the same towards women. Women just never get me as irate as know-it-all guys.
I guess perhaps its partially to do with women interacting with other women with less bluntness. And aside from that, it takes me longer to trust a man and his motives for anything. Whatever, anyway... its not important, for now.

So, my friends, my next book has now gone to its new home. It's gone and although that is thrilling it is also a little sad. But sadness, I can deal with.

Now, onward! I don't stop. Or if i do i try not to for long. I have so much to do. I was thinking earlier today when i was lounging in the bath, will i ever meet a man who is as driven and ambitious as I am? I'm sure there are many out there but sadly for me, Ive been wasting precious time with work-shy dreamers.

Are most people living day to day with no serious planning about what they need to do next? Or indeed, if they do think about what they want to create in their life, do they actually focus enough and sacrifice what they need to in order to get shit done?

i used to think that life would happen regardless of anything. If it was 'meant to be' it would just happen. And this would remain the same with minimal or not effort from my side. How naive. I no longer think that way and I realise that good things happen with determination and single mindedness. Bad things or depression happen by doing nada.

That's only how i see it. Maybe your experience of life is different.

hey ho... based on this i've just booked a holiday. One week alone in the sun so I can work, work and work, with no distractions. An empire doen't build its self it seems.

ViVa life!

super fly

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hHcyJPTTn9w

copy and paste

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mc7bSV3bGaQ&feature=related

Tonight: Radio Show

I'm on BBC Radio 5live @ 9pm TONIGHT; discussing single fathers, with single fathers OBVIOUSLY from the child's perspective. I was brought up alone by my dad. I'm not actually a single father myself. Surprise surprise... :O)

Model Citizen

From this day forth there will be no more mention of Mr 36 Hours. Forget him. Of course, if you're not on my facebook page you wont know what the hell I'm on about... not to worry 'cos there won't be any more mention of that interlude.
We've moved on! Thankfully, i have been blessed with fantastic powers of rejuvenation, so when i decide to jump ship I do it and accept the consequences. If indeed there are any. In this case, there won't be.

The Model - remember him? the Men's health cover boy. FIT. AS. HELL and a beautiful face. Yep, I'm shallow - and what? Well, he contacted me out of the blue yesterday. He's the guy I was with when i left my vibrator in the hotel room. Now, i know you remember that!! Oopsy. He's away at the moment for work and back soon which gives me just enough time to get my act together, send my book off, arrange a holiday and then do him, backwards, forwards, left, right, up, down, in, out shake it all about.

My kind of Sexy

a bit sexy. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9SqHx5k_DlM

Bitching - in bullet points.

This note will most be compromised of me bitching, and some pet hates. Both being the same thing, i guess.

Just some minor observations which turn my stomach as I get on with the daily business of living in London…

■I cannot stand those stupid stainless steel mug things that people carry on the train with their morning coffee inside.You know the ones. The bearer thinks they're really fukin busy yet organised and cool holding it. Whenever I see one I want to snatch it out of the hand of the carrier and pour the liquid - if indeed there's any even in there - over their head and tell them to stop being so fucking silly.
■If I see another man with a tie around his neck that hasn’t been tied I’ll tell him to either get a grip; get on the set of American Psycho, or I'll throttle him with it. Whats the point? This is 2011, not 1980 for crying out loud. Hmmph.
■A frequently asked question: ‘ Clare were you an escort?’ er, no, mate I’ve just got that sub-heading on the cover of my book for fun. Thought it’d be a laugh to say something which has not an ounce of truth in it.
■Another frequently asked question: 'do you mind if i ask you ...' Well, you're about to ask me anyway so why the hesitence? Just ask me politely don't pre-empt your question with 'do you mind if i ask you...' whats the point in that? fucking ask me, whatever it is you want to know and if you've over stepped the line I'll tell you to go away and if you just want to know something as simple as do i regret any part of my past - then just say, that and I'll tell you that i do.
■This isn't a frequently asked question - I'm asking myself this... Why do i swear so much? er, because I fucking like it. It makes me very fucking happy.
■Finally, another pet ate from the underground. People who are reading then lick their finger to turn the page. One question… Must you? I mean, really?
Please. Stop. Ok???


That’s it. Rant over. Now I’m getting into the bath before I get into bed. And if you don’t’ like any of my comments – suck my tits :O)




http://www.missygee.com

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Hooked-Survived-Prostitution-Londons-Nightlife/dp/1845966031/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1252794549&sr=1-1

WARNING: pls read - toffee popcorn - CONNED

i feel totally disgruntled. I've been conned, mislead and taken for a ride. By who? By me. A few minutes ago I decided to get some toffee popcorn from my local shop. I rushed there excitedly knowing that this was going to be the finale to an other wise pleasant and restfull weekend. I arrived at the shop only to discover that the bastards don't have any. Instead, they have some very flashily packed ' sweet popcorn' which I've never seen before. I looked on the back cover and on the ingredients list there was no mention of toffee.

Hmm... 'Have you no toffee popcorn?' I asked the guy behind the till.

'That's all we have.' he said.

Right. I started to panic. I looked obsessively on the shelves and i still couldn't find my usual brand of popcorn so I bought this other one. I've rushed home, hoping at best it could be a poor imitation of the popcorn that i have become so devoted to, and at worst, some random sickly sweet offering that was sure to satiate my craving.
It is neither.
It's not even chuffing sweet. I'm very disappointed and feel totally duped. I've taken literally a palm full of the stuff to insert into my mouth at the same time to see if that makes it any more sweet. It doesn't. Now, my evening feels as though it will be a long and lonely one without the love I crave from my usual brand of popcorn. Things can only get better at least.

undercover lover

remember this? course you do...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PQDxpyLVVQ8

Father Figure

'that's all i wanted...'

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8zfWiBYEV0k

fear death ?

'Why take the risk of death? Why not? There was an immense feeling of power attached to me being able to just keep going and going and going; taking myself to the very edge of death. If I survived, then I had an opportunity to play the game again.'

listen!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eo29MguGLds

'I'll take your oxygen away. Set you on fire, 'cos i'm on fire.'

the guys means business.

Men, Men, Men..

I'm a bit sad. My beautiful ex-boyfriend Dee (the guy before Blue) is not only upset with me since reading some of my blog, where he'd clearly read about me and the model in the hotel, but, now he's not talking to me at all ! We've always had contact during the 2/3 years that we've been apart. Oh dear. It's not good. I know what's happened -- he musta seen one of the dates I was with the model guy and then realised that I met him (Dee) one sunday afternoon for lunch the day after.

I know it doesn't sound too clever, but Dee and I are not involved in anything and we haven't been for absolutely yonks. But regardless he's taken umbridge (love that word.) I'm not wholly surprised by his response, but really...

Anyway, nothing i can do about it now. it's done. And whats more as he said himself, he shouldn't have looked at the blog. God, its not exactly like he's a monk or anything... He may be Jealous, but a Monk? No friggin way. He forgets that I know him.

So moving onto the model.
It's very unlikely that there will be any more antics. Don't ask why. I don't know. We're just not likely to get together again, and it feels right. For now. After last time I saw him last about 2.5 weeks ago it's gone quiet from both sides. No drama,nothing happened and I don't believe for a second that either of us is playing games. No need. This is just how it is.I think if there's a reason at all for us not contacting one another its possibly a combination of these two things:

1. He's met someone (hence him texting over dinner when i last saw him) who is keeping him occupied. It's good for him. Everyone like to spend time with someone they like and if there's a possible future in it, then even better.And even if it's just some fun, the guy deserves space to indulge himself in that and make himself happy.

2. He felt that I judged him.

I guess I have judged him. Around stuff concerning money. I like men who are ambitious. Hell, I like people who are ambitious, but one thing I cannot stomach is when that manifests on the side of 'greed'... i cannot tolerate greed.
He's a really nice fella, don't get me wrong, but there are elements of what he does and how he does it that make me think that money plays too big a role in his life, and I don't like that.

As I say time and again people reveal themselves and their true feelings about stuff all the time. It trickles out even if you don't intend it to and in this case, not only has it probably been trickling out but I told him out right that I am judgemental around this stuff and for me to say that to him, is not fair. Who am I to allow my judgements to cast a film over someone's way of life? No one. I have no right. Do i regret it? Nope. Even if that's the reason I wont see him again? absolutely. If I don't like something, or I don't feel comfortable with someone's lifestyle I can simply remove myself from a situation. It's no biggie. We aren't married and we don't have kids, so...

Moving on... The guy who stopped me on the underground.
As I said I would, I've ignored his texts. The thing was absolutely pointless. He's blatantly attached otherwise he'd have made a move sooner. No doubt. The way we met and the way we were together, we'd have seen each other again by now if he'd been single.

So, Scaramoosh! I say... A friend said: ' Whhhy?? keep in contact with him Clare!'

Why would i? For what? Yeah, he was good looking and we got on in those few exciting minutes that we spent nattering - but so what...?? i live in London for God's sake, not in a minuscule village where the prospects of meeting hot guys are limited. Why would i keep in touch with someone who was so tediously slow at communication?

Finally, amigos, the guy i told you about who lives abroad whom I met originally 5 years ago then again randomly a few weeks ago has gone back from whenst he came. We'll probably always keep in touch, in one way or another, and he'll always put a smile on my chops whenever i see his name spring up on my inbox and it's nice like that.

So, now what? Well, I've decided I need to expand my man portfolio.

But first my friends, I need to get my book as good as i can before the end of June when I need to deliver my final draft to the publishers. I'd better make it good. Everything is signed already.

Jesus, a girl's got work to do over here. I better get cracking!

In yo face!!

Their words: HOOKED is 'A fast-paced, roller-coaster story of a young woman's struggles with herself, her self-image and her addictions.
In Hooked, reformed addict Clare Gee draws on her own experiences of cocaine addiction, alcoholism and prostitution in telling the sensational story of a woman living on the edge.'

My words: 'It's not a glamourisation so watch yerself.'


And yes, you can also buy it on Kindle.

i'm smiling!

i'm a little bit excited!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FOx81aG-EN4

Wicked Game

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-oaHHrNQVrg

Weekend Antics.

I'm back in London after having spent the weekend in Yorkshire with HD - my honourary dad. I went up there mainly to buy him a laptop and to set him up with wireless internet etc. So as I'm sure you can imagine there was a number of tense moments since neither of us really knew what we were doing when it comes to technology. Anyway, I did my good deed and proudly got him online, eventually. It took 2 days, but we got there.

So while in Yorkshire I met with a guy whom I first met 5 years ago. I had a one night stand with this guy; my first time doing that soberly. This guy lives abroad in a tax haven in the middle of no where so it was never part of the deal to try and get involved in anything more that a mutually beneficial night-long liaison.
Somehow, and against all odds the two of us have kept in contact. Only periodically, but still we've managed it. Weird innit. I think so too.

So the other day this guy randomly text me to say that he'll be in Yorkshire during the same weekend as I was. What a coincidence. This has happened before but we've never met up. Sooo, my friends, after 5 years of not seeing each other -- we met up on sunday. What an afternoon. I'm not gonna say too much about it except it was fun, funny, and exciting. We kissed and stuff and the whole experience was surreal. He's as handsome as I remember him and I hoped to God I was how he remembered me. He was the one who when we first met was wearing beer goggles, not me. I wasn't drinking at all. Well, not alcohol.

'You look exactly the same as I remember you, except you've lost weight' he told me.We talked more than I remember us talking that first night and it was nice to get to know him better other than via texts.
God, the whole thing was funny and unusual. He's a right successful bugger it seems; and down to earth, sensitive, clever, funny and I like how he dresses. He's in his late thirties, own company, 6'2ish, and solid. His cuddles were strong but not suffocating and the way he touched my er, hands as we talked, was firmly. I like that. No messing.
I've no doubt that nothing will change between us. I don't want it to. It doesn't need to. We'll keep in contact and maybe see each other and repeat the escapades of the two times that we've met, in another 5 years ...

So, onward... I've had 2 texts from the random hot guy that stopped me on the underground last wednesday. I've decided that if he doesn't suggest that we meet this week, then I'm leaving it.There's no point to it otherwise. I'm not into texting a guy whom I don't know, without an end result in sight. In this case, meeting up for coffee or lunch or whatever.

We don't have to meet this week, but he needs to suggest that we do. If he doesn't, I shall take that as a lack of enthusiasm or a fear that he will get caught by the partner that he's denied having. If he does have a girlfriend he'd be better off coming clean about it , cos i wont hesitate to tell him about himself if I meet him and THEN he tells me he's with someone.

N.i.g.g.a play your position.

You're not special !

OK, let's break this down...

Me: 'So you definitely don't have a girlfriend?'
Him: 'I've got no one in my life.'

But I'm laying naked right next to you. So that's one person who is currently in your life. I'm not exactly a hollogram. And judging him by how he looks, he'll definitely be banging more than one woman so he definitely has people in his life.

I think there's a word missing here. I think he omitted the word 'special'.
Right. So that's how it is... I'm not special.
I'm not fucking special? Yes I am. I'm very special. Seemingly not to him, but I'm most definitely special.

'You look too deeply into things' He says when I question him.

'You know something? I don't. I respond. I'm just one step ahead of you - make that two since you don't even know it.

I could create a long list of my special attributes, but i'm not going to justify who I am. Instead when he calls again I'm just gonna walk on by...

On the radio

Tmrw - wednesday, 11th May I'm on BBC London radio 94.9fm @ 11pm. listen if you can, altho i know its late. You'll find it on i-player at a later date, if you prefer.

sex, watches, radio shows, and Barcelona

It’s been ages since I wrote a post. A fair amount has gone on since the last one. Kind of. A lot of Arrgh and haa! Also a fair amount of neurosis, lots of lack of sleep, a lot of plotting, scheming and thinking about my plans for world literary domination yet still I've done very little. Or maybe not. Maybe I've actually done quite a lot recently. I'm hard on myself quite often. ‘You worry a lot’ said the model, last night. Yep, I do. I also laugh a fuck of a lot, think ‘to hell with that/them’ more often than you may think, and I allow waves of elation to ripple over me due to excitement about what I know I can achieve in my life.
But yes, recent days have been immensely unsettled for me. For a few reasons but nothing I'm gonna mention.

What would I say to a friend who has been going through what I’ve been going through? Be nice to yourself, take a break, remember life isn't all about taking leaps forwards but sometimes small steps will get us more precisely to the place we wanna go. I'd say something like that, then I'd probably say: ‘ Have a bit of sex that'll release some tension.’

And so I did. Last night. With the model.
Yep, he's nice. He's nice. Not sure what else to say...could blab a bit, but I won't. So in a rare moment of taciturnity I shall remain silent on this matter. Needless to say I had a delicious time.

So as you may or may not know or remember - since I've haven’t written about it - I went to Barcelona with a friend recently. The friend was, and still is female and we had a fantastic time together for those few days. She's funny as hell and together we bounced off each other and a lovely time was had by both.
I vowed to be 'badly behaved' once I'd got there and these days for me, this amounts to something related to sexual activity.

‘Was there any?’

‘Er, what?’

‘Bad beahaviour?’

‘Er, nope.’

It's just wrong innit? Two pretty and single women en Espana and neither of us got laid. There's one time, which always involved drinking, bars and clubs that I'd have been bewildered and disappointed if I hadn’t screwed someone during a 4 days trip abroad. These days, I don’t realistically expect to. And in my own defence I would like to state at this point that I COULD, of course I could, but I don’t generally find myself falling onto a random person’s cock stone sober. Unless, the guy is REALLY fukin hot and I'm feeling REALLY fukin upferrit and I'm convinced that he'll REALY give me what I want. Anyway, the few sunny days were spent with Gaudi, Picasso and coffee, drunk at street cafes while we watched the pretty Spanish boys stroll by. And observed the English who stood out like beacons of white in an otherwise colourful landscape.

Other than this, I’ve recently bought the Cartier watch that I've wanted to treat myself to for some time. I'm proud that I've bought this for myself and it’s money legitimately and 'cleanly' earned. It wasn't a gift, a bribe, or from a punter. Nope, it was thanks to my bloody hard work over the last couple of years, writing.

I had a good meeting with the publishers this morning at the Groucho. I feel energised and ready to take this by the balls. What? Well, pretty much everything. Everything that I can control myself, that means, writing and the goals I have for my near future.

By the way: I'm on the radio tomorrow night (tues 11th May) @ 11pm. BBC London 94.9 fm.

Late, I know, but listen if you can. Otherwise I-player it, innit.

no smoke without fire

beautiful:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9rHNOTtShwM

garbage!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8jlPs-eqcKI&feature=fvwrel

sounding like a c**t !

OK, done the botox, doing the teeth bleaching tmrw, the boob job is old news..
going to Barcelona on friday, so what's missing now?? Ahh... a Cartier watch. I sound like an absolute c**t, right? yup! :o)

(i've worked hard for this, I deserve to treat myself, i say)

listen!

feeling it?

do what i do when i do it... in the sunshine.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eQtmkoakjOc

Mouthing Off.

ABSOLUTELY RANDOM thought:
If you question if someone you're interested in is interested in you it's probably because they're not showing an interest in you.
Think about it - by the nature of the word interest - if you're 'interested' in something or someone you want to know them, right? You want to understand everything, to watch, to be taught, to listen, to be shown, to give the same back...

If he/she isn't showing you that he/she is into you then he/she is probably not.

And what's this 'Treat 'em mean to keep 'em kean?' rubbish. Get a grip. I'm not a teenager and I don't have low self-worth and you know something? I've been treated like an Empress by men who are worthy of being Emperors, before you came along. ..

Can you believethat inspite of what I'm saying, which I'm sure you will perceive as me being moody, I am actually feeling very jolly today. I'm in a really good spirits. Who wouldn't be? It's gorgeous weather in London - 26*
I'm feeling focused with my plans and aims for the next 12 months, and right now in this moment I'm content within myself. My flat's looking lovely. The decorating has gone better than can be hoped coming from a sometimes impatient, wanna-see-it-all-done-in-an-instant-kinda girl. There's a long and supposedly hot weekend coming, and, well, tonight I'm, you know... making it hotter.

No, no, it's not the model.
Now, there's a classic example of someone who is not 'interested'... not in me and who I am anyway. And you know what i think? I'm fuckin interesting and if someone doesn't see that, whoever they are then I don't try and open their eyes. I just think fuck it.
So for my friends who are treading water at this time ( and u know who you are) please remember that you are important ... And if i was going through what you're feeling right now then what would you say to me?

Treat yourself as you'd treat a friend.
Hard as this feels at times, you may as well give it a whirl... It's too sunny out there to be feeling grey.


http://www.thebookseller.com/news/mainstream-acquires-hooked-follow.html?utm_source=twitterfeed&utm_medium=twitter

Press blurb about my 2nd Book

In The Bookseller, today.

19.04.11

Mainstream Publishing has acquired a second title by Hooked author Clare Gee.
Joint m.d. Bill Campbell acquired world rights to the as yet untitled book from Isabel Atherton at Creative Authors Ltd.

Hooked, Gee's debut, told the story of her life as a prostitute and addiction to drugs. The follow-up will be a fictionalised account of her experience in a residential drug rehabilitation facility.

"Following the massive success of Hooked, we are absolutely delighted to be working with Clare again," Campbell said. "For her legions of fans online, and all those who caught a glimpse of Clare's troubled life of addiction in Hooked, her second book will be an eagerly awaited follow-up, tracking the steady, often rocky, and always moving, journey back from the brink."

Hooked was published in May 2010 and was Mainstream's bestselling title of that year, selling more than 30,000 copies according to the publisher, which also highlighted it as one of its most successful books.

PLS read.

Pls click on the link below

Sooo exciting! I'm absolutely chuffed!!


http://www.thebookseller.com/news/mainstream-acquires-hooked-follow.html?utm_source=twitterfeed&utm_medium=twitter

er, it's me.

I can feel it...

I can feel it.
Its just around the corner... if it was a colour itd be orange. If it was a shape it would be a square with rounded edges. If it was a sentiment itd be an excited smile. If it was an animal, itd be a Doberman. And if it had a smell itd be that scent when you're laying in a bed after having had a lot of sex while a bubble bath is being run for you.Itd smell of an exact combination of musk and freshness.

A quick Catch-up.

Hello, hello ... justa quickie. We all like the occasional quickie, i guess, so come over here and get a loada this...

Gonna hovver on and off faceook for some time until I become fixated on my work once again. Im not there yet.n I'm getting back into it, but I'm not yet immersed. Once i am, i can keep the fb account open without fear of procrastinating by faffing around on here because nothing then comes between me and writing.

So what's been happeneing? I had botox for the first time. love it. Still need to wait a few days for it to fully kick in. My friend, K and I have been sprucing up my flat.

The reason for this? Well, there's a couple of reasons:

1. I want to. ( my usual reason for doing most things)
2. I'm preparing myself for a summer romance.

Now, you may wonder with whom. I wonder with whom, myself. But it's going to happen. When I think stuff then it's up to me to make it happen. Thankfully living in London there is an abundance of goodlooking F.I.T men. And NO, he wont be married or attached. Absolutely, no fuckin way.

Is it the model? Is it heck. He's luscious, but it wont be him. You know, sometimes you just understand some things in life and reasons may not be wholly defineable and not worth questioning too much - you just know that some things wouldn't cause harmony.

The model is very self-absorbed and i deplore this in a man i'm spending time with. I'm not used to it, I like attention too. I don't intend to get used to it and thankfully for me, his looks do not blind me. I appreciate anything pretty - but take 'em or leave 'em.


So, a hot, sexxxy, pampering-filled, affection-laidened summer tet a tet is on the adgenda for me soon, along with lots of writing, a holiday and spending lots of time with friends is what i've got planned.

But first, tonight I'm meeting Mark for dinner. My Mark; my dearest everlasting love. He is Jim, in my book. I haven't seen him for yonks and i'm excited to get together with him. He's in London for a few days setting up a gallery in which to exhibit his works.




http://www.missygee.com

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Hooked-Survived-Prostitution-Londons-Nightlife/dp/1845966031/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1252794549&sr=1-1

Today: 12th April

I'm taking a break from facebook... must focus on my shiiiiit.

Quotes for today:

"The Empire Strikes Back" Darth Vader.
"Two books does not an Empire make." Me
"I'm just going outside (of facebook) I may be some time" Captain Oates
To you all: "Keep on being the cutest trick in shoe leather." Rhett Butler.
...Laydees: " If it has wheels or bollocks, expect trouble"
Gentlemen: "If it floats, flies or fucks rent it".

I wore nothing but fish-net hold-ups, heels, and a black coat.

Gosh, where do I start... Well.... what a delightful couple of days. Fookin' 'ell.

The Model... Yep, the same one I was with twice in the last month. The one with whom I have a rather powerful sexual connection. The one I've grumbled to you that we have nothing in common outside of sex; even though I don't actually know him. But we've both been so closed.The one who I've said is not affectionate, therefore I am not. He's distant, doesn't listen and is vague about well, detail. Of course I haven't said any of the above thoughts to him until last night the topic came up about his mind being easily distracted. I teased him and he took it well. 'It's not personal. it's how i am' he said. Fine. I was OK with that... this is only the third time of seeing him.


So you can tell already just by the fact that this conversation took place - there has been a shift in our communication, which was lovely. Last night was the most relaxed, most affectionate, probably the sexiest, most at ease time we've spent together. He somehow seemed more 'human.' He had more of a personality, and he was more comfortable with me and I with him... Anyway, c'mon! You don't really care about that , do ya, eh?!

You want sex, sex, sex, right? And so you shall get it, my friends. So...

I went to meet him and he opened the door and I was wearing heels, fishnet hold-ups and a black coat.

He'd suggested this, but I'd ignored his comment but of course had logged it... Afterall he's indulged me in a couple of small fantasies... I knocked on the door, had my coat open, and his face was that of complete excitement. He fookin' L.O.V.E.D.I.T !!!!

He breathed 'hi' as we began kissing,caressing...

Gosh, I'm not sure what it is, but literally every movement I feel. He's not at all hap hazard. He's gentle and, god, well, he totally gets into the moment. You see, as a rule, I kinda don't . Not until I feel utterly comfortable with someone- but with this guy, I seem to be intoxicated by something, and I'm straight into the moment.

I have a thing about breath. I like it., if I'm really into the person I'm with. I'm sure the chemicals that unite people sexually can be found in the breath as well as sweat. Most breath does nothing for me, or I don't ever want it near me - but this guy, well, there's just something there. Blimey O'Reilly.


Anyway, we had a gloriously erotic time, which was sensual, for the most part. He's commanding, physically and I bloody love that. And by that, i don't mean he roughs me up and orders me around - although he could if he wanted - just a little, mind.... he stays close to me. The contact is very close. Hmmm...

I need to be careful though. And I will be, In fact I am being. Potentially i could be in trouble with regards getting emotionally involved. And since this can't turn into anything more I need to keep myself in check.

Yikes... So, we went for dinner, which was lovely and the atmosphere between us was better than it has been before... then we went back for more saucy erotica. This time was, welll..... what can i say, you can tell I'm gushing about the whole evening, kinda thing... He's away now for 3 weeks, so at least that give time for me to get a grip - haha! not that I've lost my grip - but it allows time for me to do my thing and brush it to one side. I resent the idea of me thinking about a man and them not thinking about me. And even if i suspect that a guy is not thinking about me- then I don't like to think about them.


Yep, childish, I know. But that's how it is.

Second Book Deal

I have just got my second book deal!






http://www.amazon.co.uk/Hooked-Survived-Prostitution-Londons-Nightlife/dp/1845966031/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1252794549&sr=1-1

Put this in your Pipe and Smoke it.

So after writing this status on my facebook page — ‘ if you really think you can get passed the average woman with your slippery ways. Please re-evaluate your perception of yourself; or at least have the humility to accept that you may not be quite as clever as you think.’

Someone has asked me, in a very kind way, this: ‘Where is the Clare from 6 months ago? You seem to have lost you happy status. It’s so sad to see. I miss the old Clare.’

So, I’ve been thinking... Where is the ‘old’ Clare from 6 months ago? Well, first she’s getting older - and I’m dreading the thought. My birthday next month and I’m gonna be in my mid thirties. Ouch. But at least it’s a sign that I am alive.
OK, so lets go back 6 months, eh? Who was Clare 6 months ago, compared to now? I’ve been accused of changing (thank God, stagnation terrifies me).


Six months ago, my friends, I was in the midst of a long and painful breakup. My heart felt like it was breaking every day. I was trying to make a relationship work with a man who was about to relapse. I was anxious all the time, not sleeping properly for weeks at a time, not eating properly and I managed to get myself 2 disciplinaries at work. My relationship finally broke up in a very callous manner, and I was a wreck. I feared for my sanity, I felt abandoned, alone and scared for my sobriety. I felt I was on the verge of relapse, myself.

My relationship with my father broke down again, and we haven’t spoken now for months. I wasn’t sure if I was going to be able to continue living because i felt depressed and the reduction in some medication I’d been taking for years, didn’t help my emotional stability. I was worrying about my ability to be able to deliver a decent second book – and this was enough to make me question my worth.

I somehow managed to get into this year, still breathing, and still having a desire to fulfill my ambitions so 4 months ago I threw myself into completing my second book.

Sometimes life is difficult. For everyone. Emotions can make me want to throw myself off a bridge. That's just me. And sometimes facebook status’s are happy and sometimes they’re bland and sometimes they’re sad or angry.
This is part of life; my life. If I write a seemingly ‘negative’ status or make a direct non-frilly comment to someone, this does not mean that I, Clare, has fundamentally changed, or my general happiness levels are in the gutter.


But if you want to know what’s happening today – which of course is the day that the status in question was produced. Today, as for the past 2 weeks I’ve been waiting, waiting, waiting for my fate to be handed to me by strangers. This means the potential publishers of my second book. I’ve not slept properly the past 2 nights, i’m due on my period, i’m tired and I’m fuking anxious to hear from the publishers. Sad as it may seem – this book is EVERYTHING to me.

I wrote a status today based on some thoughts I had after speaking to someone about something. I thought it, and I wrote it because I can.



I am still, Clare. Yes, angrier recently – I’m anxious. Today I’ve been erratic, demanding, grouchy, impatient and intolerant of unrealistic sweeping statements about my loss of happiness because of one or three, or four, or six recent snipey facebook statues.

I am female and with that carries many expectations, often from men. I am not sickly sweet all the time or even most of it. I have worries and I express them. Perhaps due to growing confidence in who I am and less desire to be who you want me to be – I tell things more directly these days than I did, say 6 – 12 months ago. I am growing into the woman I wish I’d been many years ago. Perhaps I wouldn’t have allowed so much abuse to happen to me, had I been this way.

If you notice a change in me this does not mean that I, as a whole, is a different woman. It means that today, in this moment, I am telling you how it is. And if you put it in your pipe and it stinks – then so be it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c2wSpm9q1bI

True Romance

love, love, love this film and particularly this scene...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kXjcf47y-zk&feature=related

The Charlatans

... and I know you love this, like i do. If you don't - I will never understand you. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zhSA8FwdS2A&feature=fvwrel