Him: 'So you don't often have guys round at your flat, then?'
Me: 'Very rarely.'
Him: 'You don't have to try and sound like an angel, you know.'
Me: 'I'm not. I just don't normally shit on my own doorstep, that's all. I go elsewhere.'
This is not fiction. straight-talking, forward-thinking, lover of many things master of one: myself.